Posted by: surfergee | 2009/05/28

whats going on in my head

Hi Cyber Shrink -
how are you? I hope you can help me i had a very strange dream last night and its really bothering me.

When i was 19 i was gang raped by my boyfriend at the time and 5 of his friends. it was a violent incident as there was a weapon involved. I didn' t dump him straight away - but then one night he got even more violent with me alone and this was when i did break up with him. I was pregnant as a result of the gang rape but had an abortion. Although everyone suggested i go for counselling i never did. after i broke up with mr wrong he started being weird and creepy and he was pitching up at my place of work, he waited in my bedroom at home for me and beat me up, i even caught him trying to tamper with my car' s breaks, i took out a restraining order against him but he sends me threatening letters and phones and threatens me on my answering machine. If he sees me out he follows me home - it is just plain scarey. I am now 25 and have since met a wonderful man and we have got married. We have also talked about the gang rape, but not the rest of it.
My problem is this, i still have nightmares about him, when my husband and i are making love i still have flash backs and even just smelling the same deodrant he used to wear will start me shaking. Last night i had a particularly weird dream about him and now even awake scenes from the dream are running through my head.
Cybershrinky what is wrong with me - why can' t i get over it? and is there anything i can do to stop this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

How am I ? COLD !
I hope others can also provide good advise here. YOur former bf sounds like a dangerous psychopath. Speak to a good lawyer and go back to court --- if he has broken the terms of the restraining order, he is in contempt of court and shouold be sent to jail. And they must recognize that he constitute a danger and not just a nuisance to you. If he has left threats on your answering machine, keep all those tapes as they could be valuable evidence against him. And tell your husband all about this, so that he can help to protect you.
So it is essential to take firm steps to have this thug put away.
Then as to your reactions, these sound like this could be a variety of PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, with these flashbacks, etc. It responds to treatment, which should include counselling / psychotherapy, and medication usually with meds also used to treat depression.
You have been very badly damaged by a criminal who continues to threaten and menace you --- it would be peculiar to respond in any other way than you have, recently. But get the best advice you can, medically and legally, and protect yourself in every way posible.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/28

I think you need like some serious therapy, for both trauma and also to overcome what happened...seriously consider seeing as psychologist who specializes in rape...... a big part of you still has not moved on from what happened....your still hurt and you need to heal...

Reply to Anonymous

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