Posted by: Stef | 2008/05/22

What's wrong with me?

I've been married nearly 8 years and we have a fantastic 3 year old little boy. The thing is hubby's not interested in us at all. He doesnt pay attention to me nor his little boy (which adores him).

I've told him a week ago that I needed to have a serious talk with him. He then said that I must talk then. I told him that I want to wait until our boy is asleep and then we can have a nice relaxed talk. He made sure he was in bed and asleep even before our son. He sleeps alot. From 8pm till 6:30 am and then he's still "tired". I'm the one that usually gets up for our son at night.

Well, a week has passed and he's still not provided me with the opportunity to have a private talk. And I've reminded him alot about it.

I cant take it anymore. It feels as if he's just at home to eat and sleep. Even on weekends, all he wants to do is sleep. He had alot of tests done and there's nothing wrong with him. I dont expect him to do anything house related, just to spend some quality time with his son and me.

I've tried everthing to get him engaged: I've explained nicely, I've moaned and ranted and raved, I've ignored it.... Nothing helps.

He doesnt want to go to marriage counselling - he says it's a waste of money..

What are we to do? If you see the amount of love my son has for his father, then it's really heartbraking that his father would rather watch tv than spend 10 minutes of quality time with him.

Please help!!!

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Our expert says:
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If he thinks marriage counselling is a waste of money, he needs to recognize that marriage to a lunk like him behaving as he does, is more than a waste of money. I agree with Claire that Depression might be part of the problem with this excess sleepiness ( is he also over-weight, I wonder, thinking also of Sleep Apnoea ? ) He is indeed being selfish and thoughtless about you and his son, and does need counselling. Are there members of his family who he might listen to, with whom you could discuss this ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Claire | 2008/05/22

sounds like you are living with a very selfish man, keep pushing for him to join you in coucelling, it will help and its not a waste of money! Perhaps he is suffering from depression as you mention he sleeps alot. I dont think the problem lies with you and your son but rather with him. Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

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