Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi again Whatwhat 24 and thanks for this post.
I think many people are taking a bit of strain at work right now, for many of this is crunch time - financial year end. We need to make allowances for this, knowing that it will pass. A really great response from GreenEyes who points out that relationships go through phases and that your girlfriend does seem to want to make this work. It has been five years since your partner was in a long-term relationship, and maybe she's had a few bad experiences, but it sounds as if you can the exception and support her through her doubts.
Life is full of risks. Even making a pass at someone implies a potential risk of rejection. Engaging in a relationship implies a potential risk of failure or rejection. Falling in love with someone implies the risk of experiencing pain. Never let this hold you back - if you're developing strong feelings for her, great! Fantastic! You've been together for five months already so these feelings are probably long overdue - you've obviously developed a strong sense of who she is as a person and I'm sure your feelings are very real. Don't sabotage the relationship by backing off -take the risk, and support her in taking the same risk.
You've heard it countless times before I know, but keep the communication open and honest. Great that you were able to express that you sensed her not being available to you on an emotional level, and make sure you allow her the space to express herself openly and honestly without your becoming defensive. And mind that you don't over-crowd or smother her with your emotions and needs. Allow things to develop and unfold at a pace she's comfortable with.
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