Posted by: Blue | 2005/11/25

What's going on here?

There is this guys at work who makes me very uncomfortable. I get anxious when he is around. Sometiime I even start to get depressed. In summary I feel a range of not-so-nice feelings when he is around. From feeling useless to feeling depressed even after he has gone.

I don't why though. Socially he is a nice guy but workwise -lets just say a lot of people don't deal with him unless they really have to.

Fact is - I work with him so I can't afford to feel depressed every time I deal with him. I can really say why but I feel incapable around him also. I look at the things I've achieved and I say - was that me!

Please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Is there an HR dept with which you could discuss this ? Maybe they could approach him and mention that several people have reported that he has been ahving this effect on people, and suggest ways in which he could improve his interactions with others ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Pete | 2005/11/25

A friend of mine once said, try to understand the reason people act the way they do (if you can) it will enable you to feel more comfortable around him, once you know you are not the reason.....there are many people out there that can make us feel depressed but just like the traffic we can not control their actions, what we can control are our reactions to these people. we have a choice about our feelings.

Reply to Pete
Posted by: lulu | 2005/11/25

What does he do or say that makes you feel this way? If it's not true, why let it bother you?

Try pinpointing exactly what it is about this man that makes you feel the way you do. Address the specific issues and you might be surprised at the outcome.

Good luck!

Reply to lulu

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