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Question
Posted by: phatz | 2004/02/24

what's a girl to do?

I am so confused. my ex-boyfriend and i broke up about 4 mths ago. we were together for a year but towards the end of our relationship, the problems in our relationship became unbearable. at first, we never left each other's site. i never wanted to be away from him. then, he lost his job and it changed his whole attitude. he expected me to be a perfect girlfriend to him, but i couldn't lean on him to support me. He is a good man but tends to take his problems out on everyone that's close to him. it took us 4 hours to decide that we could no longer be together. This last week, he has been in my head, dreams, any where i can think of and i don' t know if that's a sign of us getting back together. I just want to be with the man that i fell in love with a year ago, not 4 mths ago but everytime I call him, he never answers. there has been some jealousy and acts of non-trustworthiness in our relationship on both parties, but we never intimately cheated on each other with other people. Please help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear phatz,
I wonder what sort of help you think we could be. I'm inclined to agree with Ellie, that this sounds like a situation in which he is troubled by his joblessness, and maybe needs more time and space in which to sort himself out. I understand that you feel you love the man you knew a year ago, and are displeased with the way joblessness has affected him. Maybe that's why the traditional marriage service wisely talks of taking someone "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health", etc. If you only loove each other in the good and easy times, that's not a love that could stand the test of time, which ALWAYS includes better and worse phases.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ellie | 2004/02/24

Give him time, he will soon realise what you mean to him and that he loves u. Real love always needs some time.

Reply to Ellie

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