Posted by: Unsure | 2008/09/26

What would you do??

I' ve been married for 8 years. I recently discovered msgs on hubby' s cellphone from a women, msgs such as " why you ignoring me" , Excuses for her behavoir, i confronted him about it and he said it was a collegue from work giving him " grieve"  i left it there but knew something does not seem right. He also switches he' s phone to silent all the time since then and we get calls on our landline and the person never speaks.... I then discovered a msgs sent to this person from him telling her something which i told him in confidence and confronted him about it and he claimed that she is a friend and he only told her this because he wanted to let her her know that she was upsetting me with her calls " which he suspcects that it was her calling our home"  I asked him why he would tell her my feelings and who makes her so important for him to tell her about me and what i feel if as he claims he does not know her all that well. I don' t know what to make of this. He is so secretive with his phone and when the landline at home rings he' s very jumpy.
Please tell me if i should be worried? And how i can resolve the insecureness?
Thank you!

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Our expert says:
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If you'll check the archives of this forum, we get messages VERY like this at least once a day, sometimes several a day. What you describe does indeed sound suspicious. There's not really any way to resolve this other than by discussion between you, most likely to succeed if you see a marriage counsellor together
Its too early to tell the children if they are not aware of any problem so far.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sue | 2008/10/06

If you ever need to chat : sue dot wilson9 at gmail dot com

Reply to Sue
Posted by: UNSURE | 2008/10/03

Hi Sue

I' m in CPT.

Reply to UNSURE
Posted by: Sue | 2008/10/03

Yes sure, Germiston/Edenvale area. Where are you?

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Me | 2008/10/02

Hi Sue

Thank you!! If it' s not too personal can you tell me whereabout are you situated?

Reply to Me
Posted by: Sue | 2008/10/01

Dear friend, remember to only change the things you can and accept the things you can' t AND when God leads you to the end of the cliff He will give you the wings to fly.
I truly hope you have a wonderful and true marriage but if not you will survive.....keep in touch.

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Unsure | 2008/09/29

Hi Bee and Sue

Thank you very much for you advice and encouragment.
At this stage i' m still very unsure as to what to do, however i have a very strong feeling that things will progress to a point where the truth will be revealed and with your encouragement and strong words i will have the willpower to make the right decision for me and my children.
I feel with people like you to have on my side i can only grow from here!
I will keep you posted on any further developments, not that i hope thee will be any :(...

Many thanks and regards

Reply to Unsure
Posted by: Sue | 2008/09/29

I' m so sorry to hear, I went through a similar crisis. I tried everything to save my marriage but he could not stop seeing the other woman. I' m divorced 2 years now and met the man of my dreams a month ago. Never give up - believe in yourself. Yes, have hope and fight your battle just don' t fight a battle you know you cannot win.
Good luck.

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Bee | 2008/09/26

At this stage I think you need to worry about yourself - what are you going to do?

I hope for your sake that he will admit if he is indeed having the affair. Otherwise you will always wonder....But I truly believe in a woman' s 6th sense - we know when there' s something wrong....

I am so sorry for your pain - I honestly can' t imagine what you must be feeling.

I also believe that there is hope - I know many people say that once a husband has done that, he will again. To a degree I understand and feelt he sam,e but to another degree I believe there must be hope to save the marraige! If you want to, that is!

Good luck my friend.

Reply to Bee
Posted by: Unsure | 2008/09/26

Hi Bee

I also have that feeling. We have two children 9 &  3 and i don' t know waht to tell them?

Reply to Unsure
Posted by: Bee | 2008/09/26

I am very sorry - I strongly doubt that you are suffering from insecureness - the bastard is obviously cheating on you. I am sorry that it sounds so harsh, but it sounds like he is cheating on you.

Reply to Bee

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