Our expert says:
Sometimes the only thing that's a whole lot worse than facing up to and dealing with your problems, is NOT dealing with them. When you talk of having had suicidal thoughts for as long as you can remember, it adds to my conviction that no depression, including Bipolar Disorder, can be adequately treated without adding competent counselling / therapy such as CBT to the multiple chemicals, as CBT can focus on such elements as the suicidal thinking habit, and help you to change that more specifically, while the chemicals are hopefully decreasing the chemical chaos.
Stopping such meds suddenly rather than gradually reducing them doesn't do specific physical harm, but may cause unpleasant symptoms. It's wise if a physical illness such as flu intrudes, to call your shink for advice about what meds are most important to persist with, and how to do so, through that episode.
Details such as when or how your memory should improve is someting to discus with your treatin shrink, who will know the relevant background in sufficient detail to give a good response.
Have you noticed how complex memory is ? Usually, and I think this is a sign of normalcy, I either suddenly remember someting I have forgotten ( Ech ! I shoulda remembered to buy more Pepper when at the shops yesterday !) ; or sometimes I very distinctly remember that there is something I have forgotten. Sometimes I can work with this, to recall where I last remmbered it, or what sort of thing it was, but at other times I just remember clearly that there was something, of some importance, that I wanted to remember, which I am not recalling right now.
So one can remember having forgotten. At other times, and I see this more in dementia and senility, one forgets recent things and doesn't even remember that there was anything to remember - one is unaware of having a memory problem. That may be more comfortable for ths individual ; and maybe in a roundabout way I;m saying that though it's uncomfortable to realize one is forgetting some things, its probably proof that the situation is less serious than it feels like.
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