Our expert says:
And silence falls on our many readers !
The approach to the kids will differ accordign to their ages, but the principles involved will be the same. At 1, a child will be largely unaware of what's happening in this regard --- if he recognizes Dad as part of his life, he may wonder why he's not around so much, but probably won't be bothered if he sees dad reasonably often. The 7 and 10 year-old's will need a calm discussion about how adults can have problems in their relationships, and try to solve them, but can't always manage it, and you two have decided to love separately and not together in future. Best if you can discuss this between you and approach the children together. Reassure them that you both still love them very much, and will always do so, and that this was in no way their fault ( some children worry that they may have caused the break-up, maybe by being naughty, or at least by not being good enough !).
The details of what their dad has been up to would not be comprehansible to them, anyway. Work with your husband to ensure that whatever personal bitterness there may be between you, none of that, and none of the anger, etc., is shown to the children, and agree that neither of you will use the children as weapons against each other, nor tell the children nasty things about each other.
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