Posted by: man | 2008/06/24

what to tell my partner

hi all.

i just quit my job, i dont know how to tell my partner i quit. she is going to kill me, but i just can do it any more.
i hate my job more than any thing, but i dont know if i did the right thing.

how do i tell her??

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Our expert says:
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SHe won't kill you. She may be disappointed and worried, as you are, but together you will be far better able to cope and plan how best to handle this ; and she will be far angrier when, inevitably, she finds out --- and finds that you have deceived her or not told her.
What a curious stream of jealousy your story stirred up --- as though people with less salary would actually be better off because someone else has a problem. COme on guys, where;s the compassion we owe each other ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: man | 2008/06/25

hey all

well i told my gf, went better then i thought it would.
she just said i should have told her how unhappy work made me.

thanks for all the help.

Reply to man
Posted by: The Oracle | 2008/06/25

Of course I meant "detract", currently typing with 9 fingers, no. ten is covered in a very big bandage.

Reply to The Oracle
Posted by: The Oracle | 2008/06/25

Mister Man, have hyou seen the KFC advert where the boys are talking about "older women" and one says the other's mom is quite hot or something? Well, some things you really shouldn't share.

Sorry we've retracted from your original question, but, believe me, none of use earn that much money and to have our noses rubbed in it stirs all kinds of negative feelings. And I strongly believe none of us is a day younger than approx 30!! Some of us have degrees up to Masters and still don't earn R50 000 per month.

Next time, with any and everyone (and especially with friends), don't EVER disclose amounts, unless you want to invite the wrath of those yhou are disclosing to.

My final pound of flesh on this subject.

Reply to The Oracle
Posted by: Pluto | 2008/06/25

If you can "sell anything to anybody" then it won't be too difficult to "sell' her your story as well...

I think live has caught up with you and now is the time to face the consequences

Reply to Pluto
Posted by: Kay in Gtown | 2008/06/24

... and all I can ad, is I feel real sorrie for poor CS, wen he has to reed all of this....

Reply to Kay in Gtown
Posted by: man | 2008/06/24


If me being dyslectic (yes i looked up the spelling) makes you feel better yourself in some way, then i'm happy i could be of service to you. If my dyslexia (again,i looked it up) makes you think any less of me as a person, then i dont think i'm the one with the problem.

Slr, i wish you all the best.

Reply to man
Posted by: The Oracle | 2008/06/24

The telecoms co. I work for has managers, snr managers and execs shamelessly writing emails with phrases like "I isn't completely shure...". And the irritating apostropIE'S!! "He's report was late".

If Man let some simple teasing get to him, he aint seen nothing yet.

Just hope he didn't tell his boss where to stick it cause then there aint no going back.

Reply to The Oracle
Posted by: slr | 2008/06/24

not jealous at all. I am getting paid tomorrow. He isn't!!!

plus...i can spell.

Perhaps he hated his job because the subordinates were making fun of him?

Reply to slr
Posted by: man | 2008/06/24

thanks for all the help people, ill let you know how it goes.

Reply to man
Posted by: Kay in Gtown | 2008/06/24

Kay considers setting up a booth selling dictionaries for "mangers" in "comany"-s who get "payed" so much they can afford "alome" despite their "gramma" and possibly "spungy" gold "giggers".....

Kay, with work avoidance behaviour and a QUARTER of Man's salary, who has to do PROOFREADING for extra money...!

Reply to Kay in Gtown
Posted by: Kay in Gtown | 2008/06/24

Ah..... but any spellchecker would pass the word "manger" 'cos it's a real word....! Haven't you ever heard the poem 'Eye have a knew spell chequer, it came with my pea see...."?

You certainly have enough confidence to find another job - as you said, you can sell anything to anyone. You'll find something - tell your partner you'll "make a plan".

Reply to Kay in Gtown
Posted by: Simple | 2008/06/24

Which comany is it that you work for then Man?

Reply to Simple
Posted by: man | 2008/06/24

thanks Kay in Gtown

any one can be a manager/boss all you need is MS office ;)

Reply to man
Posted by: Kay in Gtown | 2008/06/24

Tell her you saw this quote and realised how much you hated your job:
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that. Because what the world needs, is people who have come alive."
- Dr Howard Thurman

So, what makes you come alive....? You have your whole life ahead of you :)
PS....but maybe a dictionary would help in the next job. Especially if you'd like to be a "manger" again ;)

Reply to Kay in Gtown
Posted by: man | 2008/06/24

so my spelling/gramma sucks, but i could sell any thing to any one.

but this is not about my job/money, i have about 4 hours before i get home and then i have to tell my GF.

any ways thanks for the help, hope you guys have a good day.

Reply to man
Posted by: The Oracle | 2008/06/24

Anon, jealousy makes you nasty.

You apparently don't need to know much about grammar to be the glamour boy these days, especially in a teleCOMMUNICATIONS company.

So you see, jealousy turns me into a raving jealous b!tch!!! Specially since I work in telecoms as well and don't earn enough for a Sundae on a Sunday!!!

Reply to The Oracle
Posted by: Gracie | 2008/06/24

I also want a job that pays R50k a month ---- please!!!??? And R200k worth of savings! You should've thought it thru before you resigned. You might end up having to pack groceries for blue-rinsed dames in the supermarket - just kidding! Bad mistake you made, hope yr lady is understanding, but don't bet on it. If you have been living a certain (high) lifestyle, she might not be able to adapt to sudden and drastic change where she might have to carry more of the expenses etc. Anyway good luck, sounds like you need it!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: slr | 2008/06/24

haha likely story

go try your luck on another forum

what exactly did you study, when did you start working, and where does the savings come from?

Reply to slr
Posted by: glitter | 2008/06/24

hi man

Please tell her immediately if you dont you could loose her forever. My boyfriend was scared to tell me he lost his job he told me after 3 weeks I was devasted & could not trust him again the deception was unbearable. We are back on track now & trying hard to get back the trust we once had and trust me he is regretting keeping that secret because the love we once shared is now shadowed with doubt. Dont wait just tell her before its too late she may never forgive you if you dont tell her now.

Reply to glitter
Posted by: The Oracle | 2008/06/24

It's taken ALL my willpower over the last while to not write a F.. you letter to my company and make a duck. It it wasn't for car payments etc., who knows.

I work with a bunch of idiots who get away with murder (or doing f-all depending on how you look at it) because that is the "limit of their ability".

If it's a big company you work for, won't they be understanding and allow you to withdraw your resignation should you ask? Surely you haven't worked your notice period yet?

If not, you could always see this as the beginning of a new life for you, clean start and all that? Doing something you really like doing?

Good luck

Reply to The Oracle
Posted by: man | 2008/06/24

i work in telecoms as a sales manager, (telesale manger)

its a Uk company so i get payed in pounds.

Reply to man
Posted by: Jenny | 2008/06/24

May I ask what you do for a living to earn such a high salary at such a young age?

Reply to Jenny
Posted by: man | 2008/06/24

she is from Oz any way, we have plans to move there next year and get married.

Ps. im not white

Reply to man
Posted by: koos | 2008/06/24

go to Oz,because if youre white the chances of getting a new job is slim!

Reply to koos
Posted by: man | 2008/06/24


im 23 and make over R50 000 a month and have savings on alome R200 000, so i think ill be ok for the next few months.

the reason im finding it hard to tell her is that we live a really nice life. we kinda so what we want. now things will change (we cant just spend money any more)

anf before you say it! she is not with me for money! she was with me when i was still in college. so no gold gigger comments.

Reply to man
Posted by: Der | 2008/06/24

Woman. you are okay! must be a real pleasure living in the same house as you.
You poor hubby/boyfriend.....if you even have one.

Man....just tell her.

Reply to Der
Posted by: woman | 2008/06/24

how stupid are you? you must be another spunger and she'll now have to support you again as everytime before when you did this!

have you no responsibility?

she should leave you, who wants to be with such a loser.

Reply to woman
Posted by: SR | 2008/06/24

Whether you did the right thing or not its too late now

you tell her .... then you work together through the next step.

Reply to SR

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