Posted by: Demi | 2004/10/14

What to do or say

I have been with my husband for 4 years been married for 1 year
In the four years things have changed my view on live have changed there is a baby now and i have a more demanding job stress levels are high and so much more u know ,last night my husband told me with taers in his eys that he cant believe he still needs to ask for sex ,i know hes right but how do i explain to him that with a woman its different im not always ready like he is.i dont know why its just not the same the sex is graet when we do it but i am always tired and overworked .what can i do i am scared of losing my husband ton a sex god or something
i am a regular reader not a poster but love this site
thanks in advance

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Demi, I understan your feeling distressed, but this is a very soluble problem. You two need to talk much more about this, maybe with the help of a marriage counsellor or other shrink, so he can better understand the enjoyable diffwerences between men and women, and how he could improve his sexlife ( and yours ) by helping out more round the home and reducing your degree of tiredness and overwork. And rest assured, there are few if any "sex gods" out there ! And see if you can plan, amongst your work, for one "light " day a week, at least, when you can be more rested and more ready to enjoy yourself.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Demi | 2004/10/14

Thanks so much Lulu he does inderstand my job situation I work in a big institution witch is not always easy complianing I am going to try my best for about a week if nothing changes i am definatley seeing my doctor AGIAN THANK YOU

Reply to Demi
Posted by: lulu | 2004/10/14

Demi, this problem is not as difficult as it seems. Good for you for realising you need help.

You've been with the man for 4 years and have a child with him. Obviously you love him? I agree with your hubby. Sex should not be "asked for". It should be spontaneous and relaxed. Surely he understands that your job is demanding, but that does not make it better for him. You should show a little understanding for his dilemma too.

My advice: See a doctor about your constand tiredness and speak to your boss if you are overworked. Couples therapy is also a good idea. You don't have to look at therapy as "something's wrong!" now you need therapy, but rather just to get the skills to get your marriage fire burning high again.

Good luck!

Reply to lulu

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