advertisement
Question
Posted by: Sandy | 2010/12/02

What to do?

My hubby an I have been together 4 15yrs. Married for 6yrs.
We have a 4yr old and twins of 1 and a half.I think we have a lot of issues and do not know how to solve them
My hubby had his own business that did not work. His mom gave him money and he decided to stay home for a year. Money started running out and I started begging for him to get a job - I arranges alot of intervievs but he just did not go.
I eventually found him a job at the company that I''m working.
I earn dubble (or more) then he does. I do not mind paying all the bills but I do mind his attetude towards me.
He works in shifts 4 days on 4 days of. When ever he has to work he''s like a demon. I can not even talk to him and he thows tantrums like a 2 yr old. The days that he is of he is like an angel and then wants sex???We are not coping finacially since the birth of the twins and I''m asking him to put in a bit more shifts or move departments for a better salary - but no intrest. He always tels me infront of the kids that he never wanted them and that they are just a finacial burden. He never goes out of his way to make me feel special or apreciated. He always fights with me becouse of money.
I dont feel like having sex with him anymore and he feels that I''m giving to much attention to the kids and none to him.He also does not help with anything at home, I do the cooking and cleaning and getting up at night for the kids - he does nothing The kids sleep with me and he sleeps in his own bed(in a diffrent room) He is also on meds for depresion and I dont want to push him to far... How am I going to fix this?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He's just not trying at all, is he ? To have wasted his mom's money just sitting around, and now by not attenting interviews, etc., he's either monumentally lazy, or for some reason he has given up and is refusing to even try.
Telling the kids they are unwanted is cruel and totally unnecessary and unjustifiable.
It sounds as though you currently have all the disadvantages of being divorced, without any of the advantages.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/04

He's just not trying at all, is he ? To have wasted his mom's money just sitting around, and now by not attenting interviews, etc., he's either monumentally lazy, or for some reason he has given up and is refusing to even try.
Telling the kids they are unwanted is cruel and totally unnecessary and unjustifiable.
It sounds as though you currently have all the disadvantages of being divorced, without any of the advantages.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Phil | 2010/12/03

Harsh words, but Old Hand is right. Besides, no longer sharring the same bed, it''s already bassically over. The occasional s*x, is just to take care of the need.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Old Hand | 2010/12/02

Sorry to hear of your dilemma Sandy. I wonder if he has always been a loser since the day you met him, or did you recognise his weak character and chose to ignore it in the hope that " he will change"  ? So often people overlook quite serious personality traits when they first meet and are also often under the impression that people " change"  They do not change. They either get worse or slightly better, but they remain with the same character deficits.
You man is sad to say the least and I am sure you recognise this.
Tell you what, make plans to divorce him and do not waste time in making a proper life for yourself with someone who will meet your expectations as a man and what you expect from him.

At the end of the day you will be happier and have less stress even if you remain unattached.
There are those that will differ drastically from my opinion and will encourage you to " help"  him etc etc. Don''t waste your time Believe me. Good luck

Reply to Old Hand

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement