Our expert says:
Its not quite clear from your message whether you are still genuinely together. If so, you should see a couples / relationship counsellor together. If not, you really need to see a personal counsellor, to clarify the situation and your feelings about it. IF it took him till 3 months before a planned and announced mariage to decide he's not ready for mariage, he really needs his own counselling to sort ou what he wants. By 30 most people who will ever be ready for marriage, are ready. Don't stay with him out of pity --- it's his task to soert out his neuroses, not yours. I don't see why you should feel guilty. In couples counselling, the aim should not be to work towards an inevitable marriage, but to understand whaty is and isn't happening in this relationship, and to make a reasonable and inforfmed decision about it. He must realise that you will be missing other opportunities for happiness while you wait for him to sort himself out, something which it doesn't sound as though he ism actually doing.
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