Posted by: S | 2007/05/04

What to do

My boyfriend and I have been together for more that one year now. We talk about getting married oneday and we know we are meant to be together. My one question actually is that is it normal for him not to SAY that he loves me?

He is a very analytic person being a accountant and all. He is also a 30 year old virgin, so he really takes this stuff seriously.

We have spoken about this matter and he said that saying "I love You" is not some words he takes lightly. He doesnt want to say it and get used to it in a way that it wont mean anything. I can see that he really does love me in the little things he does for me, but sometimes I still need to hear those words.

What can I do about this matter?

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Our expert says:
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If you'll scan the archives of this forum, you'll find that variations on this question turn up rather often. Yes, it isn't at all unuual for a man who happens to love you NOT to say so. Men are particularly often bad at expressing their emotions, especially in words --- they may think that they ACT lovingly, and feel awkward about saying it. Women seem to find it much easier to say. And from your comments, this guy takes this all very seriously and sounds very fond of you. Think of it as though you are a bilingual couple, you speaking mainly Mandarin, and him speaking Finnish --- you are gradually learning to speak to each other. Neither is right or wrong, but you express the same feelings in different ways.

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