Posted by: Russy | 2005/07/12

What Should I do???

2months ago I had a girl talk with one of my female colleagues and in the process she confided in me about her new bf. It happens that this new bf of hers is also a colleague and is the same guy I had just broken up with - he practically ripped my heart out juggling me with 10+ other women in the process without a care. I tried to carefully caution my her about this guy but it did not go down well with her. she was so much in love and instead turned against me and was now perceiving me as a rival. Now this guy is giving her the cold shoulder and treating her so badly, It is evident that things are not going well for her, she has lost alot of weight and has stopped taking care of herself. I have heard that she locks herself in her office and balls her eyes out, she is broken and hurting so much but she can't come and talk to me about it. Should I just keep quiet about it??? or what should I do or tell her??

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Isn't it sadly typical of the selfi-delusions of some folks in love, that they don't want to hear warnings, but want to belive in the perfection they have invented. Why not just speak quietly to her, or send her a message, saying that you tried to warn her that this was how he treats women, from your own experience, and are sorry both that she resented your advice, and that you turned out to be right about him. You can indicate that, having been through such a similar experience, you're available if she wants to chat about her feelings now, or not, as she pleases.
Pity there isn't a system for putting up "Not Wanted" posters, to warn women of guys like this !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Heartbreaker | 2005/07/12

No-no-no!!! Don't tell her you told her so!!! The best you can do is just be there for her. Give her a big hug & tell her everything's gonna be ok. Don't tell her what happened to you, but tell her you understand what she must be going through.
What she went through maybe very different from what you've been through, even though it may seem similar from the outside.
Give her courage & confidence to be stronger.
Just remember though, you are not responsible for her hurt. You did what you could by telling her. If you really want to make a difference now, be the best friend she needs right now.
The last thing she wants to hear right now is "I told you so", or anything the kinda sounds like that.

Just as an after thought though... next time you see this guy, laugh in his face & just walk away. Let him know he isn't worth it!!!

Reply to Heartbreaker
Posted by: JCH | 2005/07/12

Is he giving her the cold shoulder 'cos thats just the way he is? If so then you should approach her and tell her you told her so but not in a -|- y manner-be nice to her. Shes obviously hurting but I think there's more to it than the fact that he's just ignoring her.

Reply to JCH
Posted by: Elsie | 2005/07/12

It's better to offer her your shoulder than not offering it at all. If she is not interested in your help then at least you tried.

Reply to Elsie

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.