Our expert says:
I don't see any reason why you should be in any hurry to forgive a guy who acted so selfishly and stupidly. It is not your duty to forgive, but your option.
Establishing paternity needs tests on him and the baby, and maybe the mother, too. If there are reasons for doubt that he fathered this child, it's entirely reasonable for him to insist on tests before providing support. And it would be unreasonable for her to refuse. The tests should be done, and the results declared to him and to you, as you are obviously an interested party. If he is NOT the father, he should cut off all contact with her from here on.
If he is the father he has a legal and moral duty to provide support and maintenance for the child, and this might involve a minimal amount of access to the mother to makenecessary arrangements ; similarly if he wants to keep contact with the child.
Either way, don't rush to marry him and to assume that he will be faithful from here on, whatever he says. ake your time, and consider his actions now and latr, before re-assessing that idea
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