Posted by: no nick | 2008/05/28

what next

Hi Doc, just need to vent today bipolar four years now have been accessed three times and last resort is ECT as per the shrinks. Been off and on meds for the last four years . the last 6 months no meds and no change I go into these depressed moods without warning . before I could feel the high or low coming along these days anything can trigger the lows .The highs have seemed to have gone and lows are more frequent .

Personal life has its ups and downs but lucky for me i have a wonderful wife who understands and supports me when I am down. But i hate doing this to her one day I am fine the next sad and depressed and do not want to speak to anyone or even go out . I wish i had the balls to walk out on her so she does not have to go through all my moods .Don’t get me wrong I love her with all my heart but she does not deserve what i but her through everyday nobody deserves that

Work wise getting worse I am really battling to cope everyday .When the stress comes along my mood changes to lows and then I battle to do my normal duties . Last week I had enough and went outside the office and picked a small brick up and tried to break some of my bones in my hand just to get off work for a few days. Did not break anything . Why am i doing this to myself i use to be a hard worker and worked long hour to get where i am nowadays its like even the simple tasks seems difficult to do. I want to hurt myself again today as i have too much on my plate no one’s fault but my own for just not getting stuck in and completing the tasks .every time i try my mind wonders off .my concentration is go for a ball of SHI
I have typed this message on my pc for spell check as just cannot seem to spell anymore either . typing a simple sentence takes for ever
I wish i could just stop working but cannot afford to do that .

My last high was about two years back and cost me 2ook loan to a friend for a business but of course that did not work out but at the time in my mind it was the best idea out . when i came off my high i get my wife to take over my account so i am limited for when i have highs ..

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Our expert says:
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I feel it might be useful to seek proper CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ). While it has been shown to be highly effective in treating Depression rather than bipolar disorder, it could well help you to control the sense of helplessness, change how you behave when depressed, and other useful contributions. And it could help you to control these self-damaging urges which obviously are not good for you. You could also, with such a therapist, work on managing your time and work-load better.
Also contact the Anxiety/Depression Support group, as they could also potentially help you, in different ways. And stay in contact through this forum, letting us know how things develop

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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