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Question
Posted by: El-Jo | 2004/10/13

What next

Dear Cybershrink
My husband is very ill. He can’t move since the yesterday and he is in a great deal of pain. I have to take him to the doctor today, but my employer has serious problems allowing me to take time off to do this. There is no one to take him. I’m not asking for favours, I’ve asked for vacation leave, but they have a serious problem with this. What is going to happen to us? We would be better off dead so that we won’t be a burden on anyone.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

El-Jo, it's outrageous if any employer, knowing of a situation like this, makes any problem at all with someone taking time off for something so important. I hope you have been frank and explained the situation to them in some detail, rather than allowing them to think that your just making excuses for extra time off. COntact the hospice and/or NCA, as they should be able to send someon round to see him to provide proper medication for his pain ; as could his GP, though Gp's don't always know the basics of proper pain relief in cancer. Neither of you would be better of dead, and if your company DARED to make problems for you and your essential humanitarian work, they should be reported to the newspapers for Scrooge of the Year award, and to the Dept of Labour for unfair practices. Have you discussed this with your HR dept ? Maybe also call the Dept of Labour for advice about such inhuman work pressures.

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Our users say:
Posted by: El-Jo | 2004/10/13

My new boss doesn’t understand how serious the situation is. I can just hope he will understand eventually. Sorry about the message. I’m just tired and things are bit too much for me to handle at the moment. I’ll take a double dose of my anti-psychotics tonight. I’m sure that will do the trick to keep me from saying things I should'nt.
As for hubby - oh, he really wants to live. Even though his condition is very serious his will to live is amazing.

Reply to El-Jo
Posted by: Twanette | 2004/10/13

They should not be so tough on you, you are allowed "family responsibility" leave.

You have to discuss this with your HR Department.

Surely they must understand the situation if you explained to them.

Will it not perhaps be better if he goes to hospital where he will be taken care of 24 hours?

Reply to Twanette
Posted by: A | 2004/10/13

I cant understand, under the circumstances, why your employer wont let you take your husband. Do they know how ill he is?

what kind of work do you do?

A

Reply to A
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/10/13

Just a comment, no body is better off dead and I am sure you are not a burden. Does your work understand the situation? Have you explained it to them? Sorry to ask, but you should be open about the situation to them and tell them you have to do this and that you need their support as well, you will do whatever it takes to make up the time with them if need be, it they will give you this leeway. Good luck El-Jo, you are in my thoughts and my heart, hope your husband has some relief.
Take Care.

Reply to Beyond Tired

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