Posted by: Beauty | 2004/11/22

what must i do????//

Before i get married i stayed with my parents and i was also working as i was still single i enjoyed life to the fullest spending my money in my own time and on what ever i wanted.

i met a guy in 2000 december and fell in love, we engaged and got married this year in may. since then things were good,then my hubby and i did not save a lot that we can bulid our own house now, and for a time being i have to stay with his parents but only on weekends, beacause i work far from their home.

i rent a house where i stay now and hubby works far also. since the he promised to pay rent for where i stay but he did not even today i pay for myself, he only send me money for groceries and can i tell him to also pay rent coz that's what he promised me when we get married and i know he has many debts cox he aslo buys me clothes and pay for the furniture, could i be loading hem with so much when i tell him to pay rent or we have to share since i think it's man's responsibilty to do so.what must i do on that?

another things is that i don't like the situation of finding myself with his family for a long time and of cause we don't have money to build our won house now, what must i do, and during december holidays i must be there with them as christmas is a family time, but i don't feel free to be there, what must i do. i really would like this holidays to psaa quickly so that i come back to work not to stay there for long time.

please help. i also would really appreciate if you guys give me your different opinions.!!!!!!!Thanx

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Our expert says:
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I agree with Mona, here.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jackie | 2004/11/22

Even though he said he will pay the rent, it is up to you to think for yourself and realize that your husband has alot on his plate right now. Besides groceries and electricity, he also buys you clothes, funiture etc..are you trying to kill the man!. Stop complaining about what he does not pay and appreciate all that he is doing for you right now.

About the family, it is just something you will have to work through. Are you sure you are not the problem, since you complain about everything. Maybe you ought to relax when you are around them, invite them into you heart, you will probably find that they are good people and that you are comfortable with them.

Reply to Jackie
Posted by: NT | 2004/11/22

So what exactly are you paying with your money if your husband must pay for everything?
Help him out by paying for the rent, you said so yourself that he has debts. Compromise Girl!!! - That's what marriage is about.

As for the accomodation - is it not possible for you guys to find a middle point between your jobs where you can both stay and rent, seeing that you have to pay rent anyway, that way you can live with your hubby and you don't have to go to the inlaws if you dont want to.

Reply to NT
Posted by: Deubel | 2004/11/22

The motto of the story - once married you never stop paying for it!

Reply to Deubel
Posted by: Loot | 2004/11/22

I agree with Mona your own rent as you've said he has debts to pay & besides if he agrees to pay for your rent what you gonna be doing with your money. In your posting you mention that you were independent paying your way...why does that have to change when you married??
I think you need to support your hubby and help him get out of debt so that you can afford your own house.

Reply to Loot
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/22

Hi there, i think you should pay your own rent, and he should use his money to build a house, so that you can get into your own place asap.

Reply to Mona

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