Our expert says:
Its always a complete waste of time brooding over "what if's" --- you can't go back and do it differently. The only part of your life you can change is from here on. You seem to be indulging in romantic ideas of how it might have been ( even if reality may have been very different ) and telling yourself you can't stop loving him, when you have probably not really tried. See a personal CBT type counsellor to work on these tasks.
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