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Question
Posted by: anno | 2007/12/11

What is wrong with me

Hi guys, I have a problem with relationsionships which do not last, and sometimes I wonder why is it like this, may be its me or something. I was in a relationship for almost 10 years but it was not a relationship I was just hanging there coz the guy did not have the time for me or he was having other relationships, until last year I've decided to get out of it. early this year I involved with some1 I knew for years as a friend, firstly I thought he was honest when he said he was not married until July when I found out that he was married. Let me tell you the way I found out, I was at his office and I saw his ID book, I took the number and check from the internet, I don't know why did I do it, but it help me. I found out that he was married last 2006
April when I asked him, he denied and asked him to call Home affairs but refused, then I decide to do it for him, only to found out that the girlfriend , he told me about is the one. I demanded the answer on that and he said they were married but they are not staying 2gether and they had problems. At first I told myself I am quiting but change my mind by saying I was not expecting to marry him I was just having fun. But as the time goes I felt that there was distance between us , he does not have time for me, we can plan something and he can come up with stories. The only time he's got 4 me its only when he is coming from work just to pop and go. If I speak to him, he will talk something else. Now the thing is I know that this guy is playing with my feelings I wanted to leave him but the other part of me I still want him. I don't know if its because he was my friend b4 we spoil our friendship. Can you please tell me, what is wrong with me. I am tired of men. I never had a stable relationship, I always attract wrong people ,liars, gridy people who have their girlfriends and at the end I am the one who is hurt. What can I do. I waited for about 4 years b4 my 10 yr relationship and I waisted 10 yrs and its not even a year I had this. The signs are there he does not want me anymore, coz there is a saying that WHERE THERE LUV THERE IS A WAY. I am really hurt, I told him several times that I am quiting but still I'll pick up the phone and call him. Do you think I am confused or what is wrong with me

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like you could really benefit from seeing a good local shrink for a full assessment and some counselling to improve your relationship skills. From your story, you know this guy is definitely a liar --- what sort of "fun" do you want to hang around him for ? Its not simply a problem that you might in some ways attract the wrong people, but apparently when it becomes totally obvious that someone IS "the wrong person" you cling to them and don't want to let them go Now THAT's something worth working on with a counsellor

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anno. | 2007/12/11

Thank you Doc and Joy, u really making sense to me, I am defenately gonna quit this relationship. The other thing why I tend to hang on in a wrong relationship its because I hate to start a new relationship knowing that the other person might do the same thing, I know people are individuals but when it comes to men they are the same, they like to hurt people. You know what I am so relieved I'm out at last.

Reply to Anno.
Posted by: Joy | 2007/12/11

You obviously have a very low sense of self and think that this is what you're supposed to be experiencing where relationships are concerned. You sell youself short and then end up with exactly you think you deserve - someone else's man. Stop involving yourself with men that seem suspect because alot of the time i'm sure you know something is out of place but still you pursue it, hoping that somehow he'll pick you over his girlfriend. Stop making a fool of yourself by calling this man - all he does is sits there and rolls his eyes everytime his ring tone goes off and he sees your name on the screen. He only feels sorry for you and realizes the power he has over you and will continue making a fool of you if you let him. STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!!!! cause its not him, ITS YOU!!! You will only be treated the way you allow people to treat you. You are worth so much more than that - and deserve to be happy with someone who is focused on making ONLY YOU happy!!! Recollect yourself, maybe talk to someone professional to boost your self-esteem and your confidence will help you attract the right men. You have so much love to give - stop waisting it on these playas!!! and save it for a man that deserves it!

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