Posted by: ZeeZee | 2007/02/27

What is wrong with me

Morning CS

What is wrong with me that I always end up with a guy that just comes out of a relationship. I end up helping them through a tough time and then they usually go back to the ex or leave me for somebody else....2 weeks ago I went on a date after a year coming out of a rebound relationship and everything was going so well. He left his fiance 1 month ago and I told myself not to get involved but he came to visit everyday and I started to get feelings for this man. Sunday he left and I never heard from him again and then I heard he went to his ex fiance and pleaded to her to take him back. There must be an explanation why I go for these type of guys....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You seem not to recognize that all that you describe is caused by the choices you make, not by "fate" or "destiny". You don't simply "always end up " with a guy just out of a relationship --- there are loads of men who are not in that state. Maybe you seek them out without recognizing how you are doing so ; maybe they're more accessible and vulnerable. At any rate, its very easy to check this when you meet a guy, and make polite excuses if this is his state, and carry on looking for someone free from emotional entanglements. You got involved with a guy you KNEW fitted within this category, and hung around with him until you began to develop feelings for him, and then stayed on while they bloomed --- none of that was required. nYou don't even need to know "why" you go after such guys, you just need to recognize THAT you do, and avoid it. And counselling may help you to enhance your self-respect and feel more confident looking for less vulerable guys --- otherwise you're like a lioness preferring prey that is already wounded

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Our users say:
Posted by: Delene | 2007/02/27

Hi ZeeZee,

I will higly recomend that you read the book
woman who love to much

Pretty much explains why woman repeats cycles, different men, with the same problem.
Quite an opener for me, not that I did anything the book suggested..LOL
that doesnt help btw......But you might recognise yourself in there, and at least can understand, why is it that you go for the same type of person time & time again.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/02/27

CS's comment is something to think about, ZeeZee?

Reply to Buzz

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