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Question
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2005/12/09

What is wrong with me

Good morning Poeple

First of all I have learned so much from this forum and it helped me a great deal. When I read some of these postings my problem seem to be so small. I have been here for a few weeks and I have never had the guts to talk about my problem. Well here I ago. My husband died 3 years ago of cancer. Since he was diagnosed he was very sick for 10 months. I was dealing with so much in my marraige....infertility...in laws out of hell...he's sosializing till the early mornings of the hours....that I think I lost myself in the prosess. I was the stable one the one that try to keep a balance. After he died I suffered from severe depression but I overcame it and work very hard to stay out of my hole..but there is always a but...Now I have become a insecure person with a lot of baggage and I don't know to deal with it because I was never like that. I met this wonderful person 8 months ago and we have really a great relationship. I am so jealous (sorry for spelling) and that is not me to be like that. He has never gave me reason to be jealous of him before. I mean I am even jealous if he speaks to his ex inlaws. I try to hide it but it is so hard for me. My whole life I was such a stable and secure person and now it feels like I have become so pathetic. He has got so much patience with me but for how long. I must pull myself together but my emotions is playing yo yo with me.....Thanks for listening

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello ZeeZee, It's good to hear more from you ( and your spelling is excellent ! )
Surely you richly deserve some counselling, to unpack and sort out this modest pile of emotional baggage you are now carrying round with you ? Sometimes, after a bad relationship, especially an abusive one, when you find yourself in a happy and good relationship, at some level you feel undeserving of such luck, and expect something to go wrong --- and that may spark off this inappropriate jealousy. If it's good, relax, you DO deserve it.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2005/12/09

Thank you Sideways...I have got a change to be happy and I am going to destroy it if I don't do something about it....You are right i must go for councelling. I am sorry to hear about what happended to you and I am sure as hell not going to hurt this wonderful person in my life.

Reply to ZeeZee
Posted by: Sideways | 2005/12/09

All I can say is that you must seek councelling and communicate ith your man. I dated a woman about 3 years ago who had experienced exactly what you epeienced. Her husband had died a year before I met her of cancer. He was abusive to her and she came from an abusive relationship. I treated her like a princesses. I loved her with all my heart and did everything possible to love her and be there for her when she elt the pain of her past. She was insanely jealous of me and in the end no matter what I did she always wanted more and more and more. I almost feel apart due to the strain she placed on me and eventually after she had a complete break down because she believed I wasn't giving her enough despite my giving her my entire heart and soul I had to leave. It was one of the worst eperiences of my entire life and sadly I look back at it with nothing but pain. Don't do this to your man. If he is the good man you say he is then you must communicate with him and seek help for yourself. Do all that you can to allow yourelf to heal, be happy and be loved. God bless

Reply to Sideways
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2005/12/09

Thanks Jillybean for your'e nice words. Maybe I must start working again then I won't have time to think up a lot of crap lol

Reply to ZeeZee
Posted by: Jillybean | 2005/12/09

Hey Zee,
I must say I really admire you for going through all that and coming out ok on the other side! One good thing is that you admit that you have a problem - with this jealousy, and admitting that you have to pull yourself together - actions speak louder than words! So with that said I think things can only get better! You have shown yourself that you can handle almost anything!
Good luck!!

Reply to Jillybean

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