Posted by: Lifeless | 2004/11/16

What is wrong with me?

My son has been diagnosed with ADD a few days ago. Apon hearing the news I felt a little relieved that it's not something worse. But over the last 3 days it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I cannot concentrate, no energy, no interest and just not coping in general. I feel that I am starting to hate the boy. I try all I can to help him, but he is just not interested. I have so much to do and no time to do it. I have to help him study, exams starts tommorrow, and he just doesn't want to. I am crying a lot and even as I sit here I am getting emotional. Where can I go to find out more about ADD (not hyperactive, rather hypo active)? And will these feelings I have eventually pass?

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Our expert says:
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See if you can find a counsellor with whom to discuss your curent mixed feelings about this news. It's not that he's not interested in your help, but at this stage, and until medicine and other help begin to let him get a better grip on his condition, that he's not well able to recognize that it is help and deserves to be appreciated. Also, get a checkup yourse;f, living with a boy like that can be wearying, and you may be becoming a bit Depressed, yourself, and desrrve some treatment for yourself. Do a good web search on, for info on hypractivity , Hypactivity, and ADD / ADHD. And read J's excellent response

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Our users say:
Posted by: J | 2004/11/16

Hi L

Don’t be so hard on yourself. I have, myself, been through a similar situation as yours (my 11 year old son was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder) these past two weeks. You are beating yourself up, because you probably (subconsciously) think that you have failed as a mother.
My son’s psych. reassured me that I am a “good enough” mother. And it is evident that so are you.
I cannot give you specific advise on ADD, but do remember that none of this is your son or your fault. You just have to keep on reminding yourself that!!!
Speak to your son calmly and openly about the importance of studying and the consequences if he does not. Encourage him to study on his own, but to approach you when he needs help.Let him study over short periods with frequent breaks in between. You could even reward him with something special, like his favourite sweets, during the breaks.

Good luck and take care. Remember to let us know of the progress.


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