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Posted by: JP | 2007/05/22

What is the odds

I have met my fiance at school, nearly ten years ago. We getting married next year. What is the odds that one meet your futre wive at school, get married and live happily ever after? Other thing is, when i met her the day, I knew she is my "trou-vrou" how is it that I could have felt that, even at that age (15)...?

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Our users say:
Posted by: NURSE | 2007/05/23

Should read integrity not ingerity - note to myself -
I must learn to read before I post it, I must learn to read before I post it :-)

Reply to NURSE
Posted by: NURSE | 2007/05/23

Great stuff JP truly hope that you go from strength to strength as a couple and show us how it is actually done. Trust, respect and ingerity will take you both a very long way. God Bless you both

Reply to NURSE
Posted by: JP | 2007/05/22

To G. Thanx. Like I said, i tried to step back and see what my relationship looks from the outside. Because, last thing one want to happen is like Me said, ending up with a brother/sister kinda relationship. (Afrikaans calls it a: platonietse verhouding) Thanks for the nice comments G... Looks like you may say to yourself that you are lovely...

Reply to JP
Posted by: G | 2007/05/22

Well there you go JP - you have answered your own question for yourself :-)

You don't need other people to re-affirm what you already know as truth for yourself ...

Reply to G
Posted by: JP | 2007/05/22

OOps, a lot of typo's in the previous posting... Sorry.
I'm so glad i posted this forum today, cause about 5 years back I went to a "shrink" for some other stuff, and I stop seeing him cause we had a HUGE fight about this!
He said, that I can not know that she is the one for me, for if you only ever tasted Coke, how would you know Fanta is not better... It just does not make sense. Life, relationships and Love is much much more than a choice, its a feeling that can not be explained!
So, thanx for all your replies!!

Reply to JP
Posted by: JP | 2007/05/22

Me, please tell me where to look for the warning signs, as I fail to understand how things ends up like that after so many years and memories? That is one of the things in live I can not understand. People I know get divorced aftdiffrenter been married for 43 years!
Rose, It is not that I feel unsure, why i feel like this, is because if you just stand back for a minute and you hear about long term relationships ending, you see stats like 1 in 3 married couples end up divorced etc. You ask yourself the question: Why am I going to work, What makes our relationship diffrent than the others. Reality is that nobody get married, thinking/hoping to end up as divorced!

I still adore her like the first day. She still makes my hart goes bananas if we kiss. If there were one thing i could change though, knowing what i know now, i think we just have wait until our honeymoon... for honeymoon stuff...

Reply to JP
Posted by: RMC | 2007/05/22

The pastor that married us, performed the ceremony on his 28th wedding anniversary. They got married when they were 20, and had been together since they were 14. That was 9 years ago

And his wife told me that each time he walks into a room, her heart still skips a beat!

Reply to RMC
Posted by: rose | 2007/05/22

i agree with G 'who cares what the odds are??!!!!'

if youve been very happy with no doubts, dont start now JP. i think this is a very beautiful situation.

it's very common to start having these kind of feelings the closer you get to the wedding. just make sure your doubts are 'normal' pre-wedding feelings, and not things you are supressing because you love each other and are so used to each other because you shared so many years already.

all the best!!

Reply to rose
Posted by: rose | 2007/05/22

you hear of couples with this history living happily ever after with a very peaceful and successful relationship, but then you also hear people who regret it and it doesnt work out.

what bothers me is that you seem to feel unsure? is there anything you feel you missed out on?

you just have to be very honest with yourself..

ps.i also honestly felt that with my first llove at 15...but he turned out a bit different as he 'matured'. dont go according to what you felt at 15, rather how it developed and both matured through the years.

Reply to rose
Posted by: G | 2007/05/22

My folks were together since they were 14 ... broke up for 2 years when they were 16 ... engaged at 21, married when 22 and have had since had 4 lovely (if I do say so myself!) children.

They are one of the most genuinely happy couples I have ever known! They always put in the work and effort it takes to keep one another happy....

Reply to G
Posted by: G | 2007/05/22

Wow - who cares what the odds are??!!!!

Just keep thanking your lucky stars and continue to put in all the work that is needed to keep you both happy!!

Enjoy it!

Reply to G
Posted by: Me | 2007/05/22

We were at primary school together and then high school, dated from 1994, worked at the same company together married in 1999, and sadly things didnt work out and we got divorced in 2005. It ended up like he was my brother instead of my lover. On the other hand my aunt met he current husband when she was 13 and he 14 and they are still happily married and she is now 38 and he 39, so it depends on the two people to make it work.

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