Posted by: Nikky | 2006/07/26

What is really wrong

Hi Doc and everyone

I lost a best friend in 2004, she commited suicide. We were working in different provinces but I had to go to the funeral. Then I got another new friends where I'm working right now and a boyfriend also. Early this year I found out that me and the boyfriend we are HIV+, so I told my friend since then she doesn't talk to me and we are working at the same company. The other friends were guy friends who ended up wanting something more than a friendship, so I stoped the friendships. Now I'm all alone and I miss my bestfriend a lot.

This morning my boyfriend was telling me that I'm the one who's got a problem why everyone around me is leaving. He was also telling me that he feels so embarassed if he's with me coz I'm not wearing smart as other girls out there but he knows my situation he even knows my salary.

Right now I don't know what to think or to say coz I really don't know what is going on in my life. I'm now asking myself that am I really that bad coz I make sure that whatever that I wear it is clean. My worry now is that after that friend that I had here at work everytime a person do something wrong I just shut everthing and forget about that person and end up lonely.

Your help will be appreciated

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello Nikky,
Sounds like a mixture of problems --- not yet finishing grieving for the friend you lost ; worry about being Hiv+ ; being wisely cautious about people who mainly want to have sex with you ; and a silly prejudiced friend who seems to feel at risk in talking to someone who is HIV+. And it's unfair and unkind for your bf to criticize the way you dress ( he could buy you some nice clothes if he wanted to ) --- and if the friends he is talking about are such empty, superficial people, that they'd leave you because they don't like your clothes, then they're no loss at all.
Don't blame yourself for other people's foolishness. Like Buzz, think he's falsely trying to blame you for more major problems he has

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Our users say:
Posted by: Buzz | 2006/07/26

Nikky, I think it's time you reconsidered this relationship. Last night, he came home and never discussed the issue about his "girlfriend". This morning, he leaves at 4h30 to do paperwork at the office, only to return a few hours later to verbally abuse you by saying you embarress him. This after the shock you had yesterday??? His behaviour is definitely suspicious and he's trying to place the blame with you, instead of owning up to what he's busy with.

By the way, where did your friend find out about his fling?

I think it's time you reconsidered this relationship, even if he's not cheating, the fact that he's ashamed of you is enough reason to move on.

All the best.

Reply to Buzz

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