Our expert says:
Lets see what other readers think. Maybe her ill-health makes her feel anxious about being alone, and thus prey to unsuitable men, for fear of not having a potentially supportive man in her life at all ? It does sound as though these partners, eg maried men, are unsuitable, unlikely to give her any real happiness, and provoking scandal and unpleasant comment in her community ? A sincere and kind letter of concern shouldn't damage her health. Emphasize, not the idea of feeling ashamed of her, but worrying that while you want her to find a happy relationship, you're concerned that she is accepting men who will noit provide that, and by damaging her status in the community, perhaps making it harder for her to meet the right sort of man who could help to make her happy ?
Maybe she's looking in the wrong places for companionship. Maybe in the church or other community groups, she'd find both woman friends, and perhaps meet more suitable men ?
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