Posted by: Heartbroken? | 2008/11/10

What Gives

Hi Cybershrink

I have been through a pretty bad time of late and yesterday my boyfriend of 11 years broke up with me. It was only a matter of time as things have not been right for about 2 years. We had an argument, I felt (as per usual) that he just brushed me aside and it started from there. Half of me is relieved and other half is dying. I am already on Cymbalta 30mg and Stresam 90mg per day for a month or so. Not had Stresam for about 2 weeks. We are so broke that he is still living in the house (as agreed) until he can move out. We had a very amicable break-up and both cried. What really gets to me is that he tells me that he can' t love in fact and he doesn' t like who I have become. I find that he wants his cake but throws emotional crumbs in return and then blames the other person for turning out like they do. He has apologised. I feel like I am going crazy, so hurt and so angry and so resentful and I still love him. What is wrong with me? I know that I fell for a man that can' t love, I just can' t believe that I was so stupid and taken in. How the hell do I fix me CS?Funny thing about the heart it really does ache just like a sore leg or back. I feel like I will never make another intelligent decision again or find someone that is just a regular 9-5 loving guy. This break-up is just the cherry on the top of 5 years of hell. And I am still concerned about his well-being. I need to get counselling but I am broke broke broke.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

That's a long relationship, and when it breaks up, apart from the obvious emotions, its also an issue of breaking a long and complex set of habits. Presumably, if you are on psychtropic meds, you must be seeing a shrink, and that would be the best person with whom to discuss the perfectly sensib;e questions you are asking, as finding answers to them is a necessary PROCESS, rather than simply delivering a stock and standard answer. It would be within counselling, probably best of the CBT form, that you could sort things out as you wish. FAMSA and other such agencies might help find you someone who wouldn't cost too much/ NOT sorting out these feelins can also be costly !

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