Our expert says:
Good grief, SU --- after reading such a very long post, I feel I need to go and lie down for a bit ! This sounds like a truly unhappy marriage, but one which could be helped --- if you BOTH agree that helpmis needed and will sincerely participate --- by marriage counselling. You are not the problem, but as in all marriage problems,both of you are part of the problem, and could be part of the solution.
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