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Question
Posted by: Miss G | 2005/11/21

What do make out of this

After 1/12 years my boyfriend decided that it was nescessary for uss to go our seperate ways. I then decided that if this his what he wanted, i was not going to stand in his way. I wouln't want to be in a relationship where there is any reason for doubt. The reason for the breakup consisted of a few reasons:
To put you in the picture I am 9 years older than him and he says that he can't give me what I deserve right know. I think his ego was really starting to get th best of him. Because I am a very independent women and he does'not always feel like the man he says. In not into to the relationship for what I cant get out of him but because I really love him. I realise that becasue his still very young it could be that hie is not sure of us any longer and that there ould be someone younger for him out there. He said he broke up with me becasue he could not keep me hanging. Im not sure. He says its because he loves and cares for me that he made this decision. Im not sure if this was the real reason for the breakup.I

He is a real gentlemen and has a heart of gold. Made me feel specaial many a times. I don'tthink wI want a lot or expect to much but I also decided that I was not going to make someone stay if they don't want to.

What I don't understand is that he still calls me everyday and now and then he would want to come and pay me a visit. He gets very jealous if I speak about man friend, not that I do it intentionally. I have told him that we have to move on and he must allow to get on with my life. I have even tried to avoid hime completely by not answering his calls. On two occasions when i got home he was waitng for me.He says he still love me so much cares alot and miss me dearly .I must admit that i feel the same way about him but I won't tell him that because he could just say so to please me.

To be quite honet I don't know what to make out of this. Is he confused or what is it. If tried speaking to hime about this that he must leave me alone and requested that he should move on. But he refuses. He is not allowing this happen that I continue with me life and not making my task easy.

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Our expert says:
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Fro the sound of it, even if he felt he had good reasons for the brwakup, he is still fond of you. Maybe ambivalent. But you're right, that it is important for a door to be either open or shut, and if the relationship is over, he must recognize that you are free to have any other relationship that may please you. Maybe you do need to have a longer discussion with him, and at least demand that he make up his mond as to whether he wants to revive this relationship ( and then you'll have to decide whether that would be acceptable to you ) and to see the relationship proceed towards marriage ; or whether he wants to end it, and have each of you move on and form other happy relationships. He can't have it both ways

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