Posted by: LL2 | 2008/07/21

What do I say?

I lost my 2-year old son due to drowing earlier this year. Needless to say it has been a very difficult time for me and for my family. We seem to be coping as best we can. My daughter is 7 and though she seems to be coping well she often cries for him and that is fine. I just dont know what to say to her when she says that she is missing him and that she wants him back. She understands the concept of death and knows he wont come back. I usually tell her that it is ok to miss him and want to have him around and that she is allowed to cry for him. But what more can I do for her?

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Our expert says:
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I'd say something like : "I miss him too, and I also really want him back, even though sadly I know that won't happen". It sounds like you are doing all you can do, and very effectively and sensibly. She could see a counsellor, but I doubt that she needs this

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Our users say:
Posted by: LL2 | 2008/07/22

Thanks CS. I asked my psychologist if she needs to go for counselling and he said that it wasnt necessary at this stage. He said that we need to keep an eye on her though - if she begins to do things out of the ordinary then it may be worth looking into. But she has been fine thus far. Thanks for your advice. Have a lovely day.

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