Our expert says:
Leaving aside the issues of abortion for convenience, abortion should NEVER be performed without the provision of proper counselling, before and after, to help the person understand the situation, make an informed and wiser decision, and deal with the actual real psychological aftermath. You should still make sure that you see a good local counsellor and work on all the issues this experience has aroused
As for the relationship --- why are you worried about whether you are pleasing him, and apparently not worried about whether he is pleasing you ? It is understandable, for many reasons, that you want to feel loved, wanted, and cared for ; but he may not be the person best able to provide you with that, or at an acceptable cost. See a counsellor and sort yourself out, before making longer-term plans about going back to him. Why do you feel that YOU hurt HIM, and not that, by insisting on the abortion, he hurt you ? Then you say : " I want his baby....:-( " You had his baby, and he didn't want it, and pushed you into aborting it, so its hard to believe he wants a baby at all. And do you really want HIS baby, or is it perhaps that you want A baby, and as part of that, a baby who would want and need you ? Work on the counselling first, so as to be better able to make and understand such decisions
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