Posted by: Tiekie | 2008/10/15

What do I do?

Hi Doc

I met my fiance last year and we are getting married in January. The problem is about a month ago I went onto the computer at home and saw on the internet that he was on a gay site. I signed in on this site as a " man"  and came across the nickname that he uses. I started chatting to him. In chatting to him it came out that he had his first experience in 1994 when he got divorced (he says he only had oral sex and that he is not into full blown sex with a guy). This went on until 2000 when he met a girl and lived with her till last year
(he also had a child by her and his ex wife) when I met him. He says since then he has never had a guy again but if it comes his way his not going to show it away. Yesterday he said that he thinks he has got an identity crisis and would not like to be called a " moffie"  as he is bisexual. He never goes out alone and is always at home in front of the computer. He comes off work at 3pm and I get home at 4.30pm. He says that if his fiance should find out he would choose to be with her and not with a guy. Yesterday while chatting to him I nearly revealed who he was chatting to as he asked me why do I seem so concerned over his wife and what he is doing. Our sex life is fantastic no problems at all. Do I confront him and if so how do I it and what do I say.

I' m really desperate for an answer.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, so he probably is bisexual. Many bisexual men marry and lead ordinary and happy married lives. Some don't. But you can't really carry on knowing this about him and trying to keep it secret --- sooner or later it will slip out, maybe during an argument. Probably best to sit down calmly with him and explain what has happened and what you have discovered, and talk this out between you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: smile | 2008/10/16

You should write to him and advise him to come clean to his fiance which is you,then you will be well prepared on how to sort out this problem.

Reply to smile
Posted by: Tough | 2008/10/15

U need to let him know that its u he has been talking to....he has to know then u will take it from there.I cant believe one can live double lives like that.

Write to him again but within the conversation tell him its u really.Good luck.

Reply to Tough

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