Posted by: Didi | 2004/11/01

What do I do

I have a boyfriend we've been togethor for almost 4 yrs now. We have a two year old daughter and he has a 4 yr old son with another woman. We're staying togethor and my daughter is staying with my mother, his son is staying with his ex-girlfriend.He visits him almost everyday and he expects me to understand and spend time with his ex and their son and I don't like that and at the same time I don't want the son to come and stay with us as we're not married(am I wrong). My problem is I make financial sacrifices for both of us like, I'm not satying with my daughter because we cannot afford paying the creche but his son
is going to school and there's someone who's looking after him after school hours. Every month he pays for his son but he doesn't have money to pay for my daughter. I don't know whether I'm too sensittive / what. I sacrifice most of the thingss I want to do for both of us but he makes sure that his son is taken good care of. Pls help what do I do...

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Our expert says:
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I understand that you're bothered by him spending time with his Ex, but surely you would want him to be the sort of man who would spend time with his son > And if he contributes towards his son's expenses ( which by law he probably has to ) why would that be a problem ? Can you contribute towards your daughter's costs ? He probably cares enough for his son ( his own child, too ), to want to contribute towards his care, but wouldn't his ex have the right to compel him to pay maintenance if he didn't ? he had this same son 4 years ago when you began your relationship with him, and he had him for 2 years before you chose to have a daughter with him, so it's hardly a surprise. Has your attitude towards this changed recently ? IF so, why ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Didi | 2004/11/02

Hi Doc,
I don't have a problem with him supporting his son but what about my daughter why doesn't he support her. He's paying everything for his son and when I ask him money for my daughter he donsn't have it, do you think this is fair. I can't stay with my daughtet because I cannot afford to where's he's son is taken good care of.

Reply to Didi
Posted by: mooh | 2004/11/01

Sweety the best thing you can do for yourself is to leave your boyfriend in my world love has sacrifices but you have given up the reason why you are living and that is your daughter and nobody else!!! so give your baby the comfort and the step that will be advantageous for her in life and forget the man they are never with it in the end

Reply to mooh
Posted by: BC | 2004/11/01

It comes in one package, accept it or reject. If I were u, I would try to make agreement with him or else, I would live alone. Money plays big part in relationship. The fact that you are financial stronger, how that makes you the weaker one?

Reply to BC

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