Our expert says:
You seem to be describing what the old cloche calls "heartache" in terms to a physical sensation related to sadness, but of course you first need a full expert check-up from a specialist in general medicine to be sure there is no physical problem present and needing attention - there could be actual cardiac problems, or problems such as forms of indigestion. These are all made worse and more painful by prolonged stress of the sort you have been experiencing, but can all be usefully treated.
You have had sad and discouraging experiences, of course, and its hard to get perspective on those ( any "man" who walks out on a woman having got her pregnant, is well worth avoiding and not having any relationship with except through the maintenance courts ). So you should see a good local psychologist to help you work through your emotions and to get on top of these disappointments and the unhelpful assumptions and reactions they have left you with.
You were victimized by some crummy men, but you don't need to allow them to continue to victimize them long after they left. Take your own victory by abandoning the hurt they left you with.
Do go to the Maintenance Court and ensure that the biodad is forced to pay proper maintenance for his child. Not only do you and your child deserve that, but it will help to discourage the rat from doing this to anyone else.
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