Posted by: Confuzzeld | 2008/01/25

What are these feelings

I just recently got engaged to an amazing man, we're totally open and honest with eachother and I'm happy about it.

I had a relationship with another guy - on and off for nearly 2 years - it was most physical and we decided to take time to think about it when I met my fiance.

I would not be able to trust the other guy because he was "cheating" on me at the same time.

I saw him today and I got so nervous - we work in the same area- and we agreed we'd try still be friends - NOTHING MORE

I would never cheat on my fiance becasue i've been cheated on and I know how it feels and also I really love him.

I'm still in contact with this other guy - we have mutual friends. I don't understand why I got the "butterflies" and felt nervous (like a school girl with a crush ) when I saw him... I don't understand why???

We had a really good "physical relationship", there was this really strong physical attraction.

Physical things with my fiance are NOT great could it be because I haven't "let go" of the physical thing with the other guy.

Please don't get me wrong I would never act on the attraction... How do I forget about the whole physcial thing with this previous guy and also does that have anything to do with the physical side of my current relationship not being great now?

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Our expert says:
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Sounds needlessly complex, when even normal life is challenging enough, these days. Why stay in contact with the guy who gives you butterflies if you have decided not to seriously proceed with that relationship. Simply a passion for Lepidoptery ? I'd think that things with your fiancee, both physical and romantic / emotional would be damaged by your hanging on to the other guy. She who insists on having her cake and eating it too, often goes hungry in the end.
Counselling would help

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