Posted by: tired | 2009/09/17

What are my rights and options

I have been married for 13 years. I am not going into detail about the problems we have, bottom line, i dont love him anymore and dont want o be married to him. If i walk out, what rights do i have, and if i stay in the house in seperate bedroom, will this be better?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Hello Tired,

pls contact me for a legal referral.
You may want to look at a coaching consultation to help with the confusion.

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Our users say:
Posted by: riaanmy | 2009/10/04

A family member has been married for 15 years.There is 2 children involved 14 and 10. There has never been any problems in this marriage. First time she hear about problems in her marriage was the same night her husband left home.She was shocked and concerned about his wellbeing to get hold of him, he didn’ t answer his cellphone, she couldn’ t find him at work or with his family.

She then went to the home of a apprentice working with him to find out if she perhaps know if he is working overtime. She didn’ t find the apprentice but left a message with her mother.

The next day defendant was issued with a interdict not to bother with the apprentice or her 4 month old child. This was very suspicious because she only went there to find out if she knew of his where abouts.

She went for counseling and wanted her husband to go as well. He didn’ t answer the calls or messages of the counseling person.

The next week a settlement proposal was delivered with no case number or official stamps. He tries to force her to file a divorce by not helping her financially with the children and the household. She doesn’ t want a divorce because they never had any problems in their marriage and she still loves him. The children also want him to come back.

It is still a secret where he is staying. There are rumors of him and the apprentice staying together. He communicated through the elder child whom he used as a play ball . He then kidnapped the child because he was afraid she tells about the affair. In the 15 years of marriage they didn’ t even have a fight. She is very depended of him. He didn’ t want her to work but rather stay at home looking after the children and the household. About 3 months before he left home she got a work to help with some extra money for the household. She earns a small salary because she didn’ t work for 15 years. This isn’ t even enough to pay for the electricity bill and maintenance of the household.

This was a very closed couple and it was a big shock for all of us, especially their children. Is there anyway I can help. She doesn’ t have money for lawyers and I can’ t help her with that because of my own household?

We went to a legal aid lawyer that told her there is not really anything she can do but accept a settlement of R1000 p/m per child, which I disagree with.

His nett income is R 20000 and R25000 depending of overtime. When they were together he gave her R 7000 p/m for the household. Since he left home nothing. The child is still with him and he refuse contact with her.
I’ ll appreciate any help.

Thank you very much.


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