Posted by: Mrs Confused | 2004/10/06

What are husbands for

I have been married for 4years now but there is one thing that i dont understand about my marriage. My husband is a modern man but still live in the 50s. We both work, but when we get home in the evening he just sits on the couch while i do all the house work, we sit there watch TV or read newspaper sometimes i can hear him snoring from the couch. Is this what marriage is all about. i dont remember him buying me anything or taking me somewhere romantic. That bring me to this question what is a husband for? The only thing that he does is to take me to and from work. that the only thing he does without being pushed. Please guys i need your advices.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Mrs C,
yes, it;s like there's a hidden time warp, somewhere, bringing in these people from the 50's, He'd probably want to vote for Eisenhower in the American presidential elections. Sec has the right answer. Can you manage to get to that couch with the paper before he does ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jiffy | 2004/10/06

"... and thank you again, Lord, for the husband You gave me!"

Dunno what I did right to deserve someone like him, but he helps me with absolutely everything, from the children to making dinner, sweeping the floors, doing the washing, cleaning the cat's litter tray, doing the dishes, buying groceries, cleaning the oven and/or fridge when necessary, etc. etc.

Maybe the Lord took pity on me when he paired husbands and wives, coz I would never be able to cope with a couch potato!

Reply to Jiffy
Posted by: Sugar | 2004/10/06

I agree with sec. I had the same situation, went on strike for a couple of days until my husband remarked taht the house was filthy and when did i plan on cleaning up. That was just it!!! I told him where to get off. I had a full time job, was expected to cook and clean and still study at night. Even worse his brother had moved in with us. That was a changing point in my marriage. Now three years later my hubby always remarks how difficult a woman's life is and how important it is for the husband to help out.

Go on strike lady...promise you it will work!

Reply to Sugar
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/10/06

Husbands are not there for any specific purpose other than to spend your life together, companionship and raising a family together. Just as a wife shouldn't be there to cook and clean and run a household and bring in an income whilst the husband sits on his butt all day long.

Sit him down, talk to him, and stop doing all the spoiling and the sulking. Take control of your time, you have in fact handed over the power of your life to your husband.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Rabier | 2004/10/06

The reason is that there comes a time in the life of a relationship where the spark goes, it deflates and slowly disintegrates. He is sitting on the couch reading papers because he's bored stiff. Go to the couch, remove the paper, give him a blow job, u know what it'll lead to, he'll become the best man u ever had.

Reply to Rabier
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/10/06

Hi Mrs Confused,
You have gotten into a rut, I am sure it hasn't, wasn't always like this, you have just allowed/done a lot for your hubby and he now expects it. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't understand then go on "strike" as suggested. My ex used to chuck his clothes on the floor and it really irritated me but because of the incessant fear I had for him, I went through the motions, until I snapped. I emptied his entire cupboard on the floor, he never did it again and although he hurt me, I had a small victory.
Take care and if you love him one tends to want to do everything for that person, so tell him you need him to do somethings for you sometime.
Good luck.

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: R | 2004/10/06

All I want to say is that you must talk to your husband. Last night my wife told me that the one thing she remembers after 20 years of marraige was that one evening about 17 years ago she was having trouble washing the baby's clothes and i was sitting watching TV. She was upset and still remembers it. A husband should cherish his wife for if he does not romance her and spoils her, he will regret it later.

Reply to R
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/06

Hi Mrs C,

Just wanted to say I fully agree with Sec. Stand up for your needs. It is a partnership & needs equal commitment & input.You shouldn't be taken for a servant...

Have a great day.

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: sec | 2004/10/06

You know sometimes we spoil them from the day we get married and we are at fault at times for allowing it. I put my foot down and told my hubby and boys I will cook and clean but Friday nights they cook and on Sundays they do dishes. I also got them to start cleaning by refusing to clean up (going on strike). Told them straight out that is enough. I also work full time and also need rest and it is time all contribute to help. Well it has been helping. The hardest thing was when I went on strike because there is nothing more I hate than a dirty house but I stuck it out. suggeest to your hubby maybe he might like to cook and you tidy up or vice versa or take turns. You are in a partnership and both need to help. If it does not help - you get a newspaper and join him on the couch and watch tv or whatever you want to do to relax. If he asks where is the food you have some flirty remark until he maybe gets the point .

Reply to sec

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