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Question
Posted by: Jethro | 2008/01/29

What amI to do


Hi every1

Im finding myself in this situation.Well me and my G/F broke up last May2007, we have a 4yr ols son...she cheated thats y we broke up...In October07 we began sorting our relationship out and decided to try again...well guess what, she "fell" pregnant in Oct07...told me only in Nov07 that she is 4weeks pregnant...I accepted it and her...we decided to move into my house together...for the sake of our kids...well I do love her...I think I have made peace with her infidelity as she swore that it was nothing physical or no sex was involved...Im giving her another chance as we love each other and our son too.....

She is moving into my place in Feb2008...As im still living alone, for some unknown or mysterious reason, Im beginning to doubt myself...my sense of judgment...my decisions...my stupidity by having unprotected sex with her...Im asking myself if she wasn't already pregnant when we made up again...I want to be with her and Im also doubting my feelings...is it genuine/????am I doing it for the sake of the kids???Am I doing the right thing???

By de way, since we got back, i have had sooo many women who wants to be with me...but still I made my bed...SO DO I SLEEP IN IT OR WHAT???"

Im thinking and asking myself if she loves me too...as she claims and shows...I can see that she want to be with me(in my house)...Im just wondering if it is genuine love from her or is she just loooking for a "house" for herslef and the kids???

I dont know!!!!!!Iam so confused...Iam beginning to doubt my decisions...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

YOu know, this forum is really intended to deal with psychiatric problems, rather than love problems, so you may get better responses from other readers, based on their own experiences.
Why on earth don't the pair of you see a relationship counsellor together, to work on these recurring problems ?
Does she really ove you, or does she want to live in your house ? And its reasonable to ask for blood tests / HIV testing, and paternity tests, to make sure whether the child is yours. Living together sounds really premature

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: KL | 2008/01/29

There is a reason why you're asking yourself these questions! I think you're doing it only for the kids. And I think that you don't really love her, you think you do, but actually you're just used to being with her.

Reply to KL
Posted by: John | 2008/01/29

Jethro, I suppose its pointless to say now that you both should have had relationship counselling BEFORE reuniting since you have gone the whole hogg already.

These doubts will be with you for a long, long time and, if you do not air them, they will be a silent and deadly cancer in your relationship.

Tell her what your fears are, now, without being aggressive or confrontational. Tell her that you feel you and her need counselling to help you. If you feel that the child might not be yours then have a blood test done. Get an AIDS test. This is your LIFE, remember, and it may be worth safe-guarding, don't you think? If she gets very cross about it, well, then, you have to deal with that too but it will be far better than keeping quiet and brooding, thinking about the other women that are queueing to get into your bed.

Finally, I am always amazed that men seem to think infidelity of the heart is more acceptable than infidelity of the body...in other words, initially you thought it okay for her to love someone else, as long as she didn't sleep with him.

In my view, thats worse.

Reply to John

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