Posted by: Just wanna be a sista | 2008/10/13

WHAT A MESS!!!!!!! (post 1682)

On the 10 Oct I send a question (1682) about the problems between me &  my sister. After that day my husband decided he had enough and phoned my sister he told her that its time to sort it out and she must phone me, she told him she doesnt want anything to with me in her eyes I am dead... he then told her if she writes me off then she' s not a Christian and then she must write my kids and him off to. That evening my husband went to my mom as well he spoke so nice to her, told her that she is the mother she does not have to be in the middle she must tell my sister how it is and my sister must respect her for that. He also told her that my sister is not allowed near my kids (my mom look after my baby during the day and my son goes there in school holidays), and should he find out she was there he will put the baby in a nursery school and she (my mom) will only see the kids when we are with, since he feels that is the choice my sister made. He also told my mom he will never refuse her to see the kids and that he and the kids love her lots but it has to be like this since he doesnt feel my sister is stable enough to be with the kids as well. When we left there everything was fine, she hughed my husband and told him she loves him.... But from that day she ignores us, she doesnt answer her phone... my stepdad says that my mom is very hurt by what my husband told her.... But why didnt she say anything that night,.... WHAT MUST I DO... I cant tell my husband she' s upset because he can be very stuborn he will take the baby and put her in a nursery school, just to not be part of this " crapp"  anymore.... I cant take this anymore its getting to much... I feel like packing up my bags and leave with my husband &  kids and forget everyone else. I love my mom dearly she means everything to me, but why does she react like this after all my husband told her he' s not going to keep the kids from her. I am so confused.

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Our expert says:
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You husband's words make excellent sense, and probably convinced your mom at the time --- until your sister got to working on her. Maybe if you let your husband do as he said he would, and tell him what you have noticed, it would end up for the better, as your mom needs to realize that she can't ignore what your sister has been doing, and that this risks her own relationships and is not acceptable to you both as parents.

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