Our expert says:
Erection problems in a drunk is a well recognized problem through the ages --- even Shakespeare wrote about how booze can increase the desire but damage the performance. Masturbation is possible,and can be enjoyed even by a man who can't ejaculate. And erections are fickle --- and heavily influenced by the mind, thus being posible on some occasions and not on others, and wilting when confidence wanes.
It does sound as though he may be using sex or the withholding of sex as a weapon in marital squabbles. It also sounds as though he might be having erection and arousal problems, and provoking such squabbles as excuses for not being expected to perform with you.
Alcohol removes or reduces our inhibitions, and causes all sorts of behaviour problems. And while he'll probably argue with you about whether or not he's an alcoholic, he's surely a problem drinker, and needs help with it. But until HE recognizes that and gets help and sincerely works with it, there's nothing anyone else can do about that.
Similarly, marriage counsellign would help, but only if he agreed willingly to take part in it and alow it to work.
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