Posted by: Kiwi | 2013/01/15

Wedding Donation

Hi All,

Guys my friend shocked me yesterday and I''m still a bit disturbed. She is planning a wedding and to my surprise she is telling me she asked 1 friend to pay for her wedding gown, another one for catering and her sister for the tent and decoration. She had the nerve to tell me I will buy the cake.

I was shocked and couldn'' even ansswer her, I couldn" t sleep last night thinking of that. How can one plan a wedding when they can''t afford. If it was you what was your reaction gonna be?

I really am looking for your reponse as I''m still shocked and don''t know how to handle this situation.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bella | 2013/01/16

Sure Zee

Reply to Bella
Posted by: Kiwi | 2013/01/16

Amasi at least those people volunteered to help you, you didnt tell them or ask them to help you.

@Zee I will tell her upfront. I don''t share how much I earn with friends I don''t know why she think I can afford a wedding cake, she is just assuming that I can afford.

Reply to Kiwi
Posted by: Zee | 2013/01/16

Well, you need to let her know soon that " You are in no position and have no intentions to buy the cake" . Don''t mince your words, tell her up front!

NB: Don''t overshare information with your friends in terms of how much money you are making! I''m sure she knows that you make good money and thinks it won''t dent your pocket to buy it (based on what she knows about you ), so from now on, watch what you say to her.

Personally, I''d also distance myself a bit from her.

Reply to Zee
Posted by: Amasi | 2013/01/16

You know it is not the same.
When I got married (actualy before I even proposed) there were few people who jumped asking what can we do for you.

After thinking about for a long time, I had to do a difficult job of allocating responsibility to an extent my lady was uncomfortable. What should I have done if there are more than fifteen people willing to give something big for the wedding due to the impact you had on their lives.

I had to stand my ground on the few items which I have to do myself for pride''s sake: Lobolo, rings, wedding gown (though she had an aunt who sew it for her, I had to buy material ).

I asked them what do they have in mind budget wise as they were asking " what can we do for you"  so based on that, I said to one:
Pay for venue
Buy me how many cases of drinks (as per your wished budget)
I will buy a cake with yours
Use my Holiday Club points for your honeymoon.

In my case it was friends whom I had impact on their lives who came to the picture and requested to contribute. It does not mean I did not plan but my relationships contributed.

When one is planning a wedding, they should have budget for all of the expenses. On the other hand, I have learnt that most people have never appreciated the magnitude of the wedding expenses.

I dont encourage people to plan their wedding around other people as it is a six months planning excercise if you have lots of cash stashed away and can take upto three years.


Reply to Amasi
Posted by: Kiwi | 2013/01/15

Bella, I will attend the wedding and yes I will give them a present but to be dragged to buy a wedding cake is not on maan! How can you plan a wedding with no money for other expenses???

Think of it its a wedding, I dont mind contributing for a funeral coz it is unplanned. A wedding is for you and hubby and its something that you have dreamnt of since ou were young so including other people in those plans is not ayoba!

Reply to Kiwi
Posted by: Bella | 2013/01/15

hahahahahah hawu Kiwi she''s your friend.....she''s got the nerve to plan the wedding on other people" s expenses

Reply to Bella

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