Posted by: jessy | 2007/11/29

we are not talking

I sense a bit of resentment from my girlfriend this morning, The problem is money---i now think i am stingy but i also think she is stingy,

the situation is, when i met my girlfriend, she was a little struggling financially and i just got a part time job not highly the beggining i thought i was the luckiest guy to have such an understanding girlfriend...or i did not mention..she is studying...about to complete. this year i bought her clothes and some of the things she needs.....but lately she has been trying to get me to pay everything she needs, i mean i just got a job better paying.not great either...i have a few things i am still trying to straighten but she sees that as an excuse.

now she will go on about what other guys are doing for their girlfriends and i told her to get another boyfriend coz clearly i am not providing enough...she got ticked of ..the thing is am sick of being made to feeling like i am not good enough the worse thing is she has been awarded a bursary and had thousands of rands but spent it all on her family in hopes that i will pay everything for her ....

I love her and i believe she loves me , sometimes i feel like i am being stingy but if i give all the time i will be giving to one person and nothing to myself and the other people i care about.

The thing is i am like this, i will always be there when she needs me, she will never go hungry, clothes to wear, cellphone for contact purposes, but i will not take her to an expensive hotel that i cannot afford just so she can brag to her friends...i cannot do i said i just started working and i have been nothing to but supportive to her....

we are not speaking, i dont like the vibe i tried making a conversation today but met with resistance i gave up....tell me i am i being stingy

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

She sounds like a mercenary little gold-digger, greedy and selfish and uncaring --- what exactly is it that you find loveable about her ? If she is concerned about being able to brag to her friends, that is just NOt about love at all. All that you have been doing for her is clear --- what exactly has she been doing for you, and why doesn't she fel she ought to do any such thing ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: -|||- | 2007/11/29

Showing her the budget is a good idea, but why should you justify yourself ? She should accept that what you are doing for her is what you can afford. If it is what you can afford by bending backwards double or whether you can comfortably afford it is irrelevant. What you are spending is what you are willing to invest financially in the relationship, period. Asking more from one’s partner is to take him/ her places where they get an uneasy feeling and that is where you are at now. Nobody is going hungry or unclothed and you have your occasional treats as far as I can gather. Interest rates are yet again going up soon and you’ll still be the only one to bear the brunt. You are right. If she can find a better b/f, don’t stand in her way.

Reply to -|||-
Posted by: Ally | 2007/11/29

I agree with Lolo. There is no better wake up call that showing things in a budget. I think that your girlfriend is being unfair. WHat makes me angry is that there are still women out there who have no self respect and want a man to support them financially instead of trying to make it big for themselves. I know its a harsh thing to say but its the truth. Show her the budget and explain your situation.

Reply to Ally
Posted by: Lolo | 2007/11/29

Money cause conflicts in too amny relationships, be open to her, tell her you are only trying because you olso have your needs and you just started working and guy make sure when u spend your money you spend it on something you'll always have tomorrow that is investments.

sit down with her do your budget together show her how you sacrifice your need for her's. maybe she think you have a lot of money like we use to think that as long as our parents are working they do have the money, but forgetting that there are bills to be paid.

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