Posted by: telephone bill | 2004/10/18

want to talk to lifeline but hubby checks tel bill

sometimes when depressed i so want to call someone to talk to, but hb checks the tel bill every month. I have no cell, as he wants to know what do I want with a cell if there is a phone at home and i can use th work phone for emergency.
I cannot use the work phone as we have an open office and i really don't want them to know about my private life, as I do live 3lives - the hardworking very pleasant girl from 8-5; the abused, good for nothing wife from 5:30pm to 7am; 7am to 8am the lonly woman trying to sort out her life.
But i'm so glad for my works internet, where i can just log on when no-ones looking, and talk my heart out, and get sympathy, good advice from you guys - I'm not going to single you guys out, coz every reply gives me hope.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear t.b., let's face it. As Phumi points out, your husband is abusive. You ought to be calling POWA and sorting out how to escape from that over-controlling abuse. Of course you're welcome here ( I don't know if POWA has an active website, they ought to --- try a SA web search and let us know ). What would be his attitude if you decided to physically go to see a counsellor ? ( via POWA or Lifeline or wherever ? )

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Stranger | 2004/10/19

Hi there

you have a job, why not save some money and buy yourself a phone...if hubby gets upset all you have to tell him is "what if"...
"I get a flat tyre and no payphone is in sight" (come up with any emergency scenario)..delete any calls you have made, that way he cant check up on you...
but the best advice would be to get away from him.

Reply to Stranger
Posted by: Paul | 2004/10/19

Phumi asks a valid question. You do need to talk about your problems, and the fact that your hb is hindering that process by restricting your right to communication - is abuse in its own right. You can always come here to talk, you should get a good variety of responses which is nice to gain some added perspective. However the power to change your life for good lies only within yourself, and the first step will be to get out of your abusive marraige. We all support you in the meantime though.

Keep well.


Reply to Paul
Posted by: Art | 2004/10/19

TB buy pre paid telkom card you can use it anywhere even from your home phone it has a secret number and you type it in it gives you the airtime you bought with no record or as Yellow said go to a pay phone

Reply to Art
Posted by: phumi | 2004/10/18

your husband is an abuser, how can u keep on staying with him if he treats like that.

Reply to phumi
Posted by: yellow | 2004/10/18

why don't you phone from a payphone somewhere in a safe environment. or internet cafes with phone facilities. they are quite private. good luck!

Reply to yellow

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