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Question
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/05/17

Want to help, but how?

My son's previous daymother just sms'ed me and asked to send an sms to everybody I know and start a prayer by doing that. About three months ago I sms'ed her and asked how she was doing and she told me that her daughter tried to commit suicide, but I must keep it to myself, so I did and every now and then I contacted her to know how she's doing and how her daughter is coping and she said fine. I told her that depression isn't a joke and she must get some help and she said her daughter was getting help at that moment. I actually feel guilty now, because I didn't sms or call her for a long time now. Anyway, I thought the suicide attempts was something of the past but it wasn't. They rushed to the hospital about 2 hours ago, because she tried to commit suicide again and she had five attacks this morning, what attacks could it be? anxiety attacks? attacks because of pills? The daughter seemed like a really nice person (she's now 20 years old I think), but always seemed a bit strange too, she sometimes looked after the kids and she loved the little baby girls the most by the looks of it. My son's previous daymother was also in hospital once, caused by a lot of stres and now I can even imagine how much the stress is now! She's having hard times herself and now her daughter as well? I heard that the dad killed himself a few years ago and not sure if that could be the reason? I want to help them, but I don't know how. Not to be mean, but they are one screwed up family now. I wanted to talk to someone about her, but I promised not to say anything. I can't concentrate on my work and I'm kind of worrying about them!

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Our expert says:
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From the sound of it, the daughter's attacks could be anything, depending on the pills taken, and the doses involved --- possibly epileptic attacks, even. The only way to be really helpful, isn't to steam in giving whatever help you think might be needed, but to be supportive, make it clear that you are anxious to help in any way you can, and talk about what might be helpful. Jane's response is excellent and wise, too

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jane | 2007/05/17

Hi Echelle

She is indeed fortunate to have you as a friend or even confidant, but promises can be broken when it concerns a life that might be in danger. I would suggest that you phone her and offer your support and just let her know that you are there if needed. Perhaps even gently approach the subject of family counseling.

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