Posted by: Dee | 2012/11/05

Want to have a baby so much.......

Hi, I am a hard working 31 year old with a well paying job and all other material things that come with having a good job. I am a serious failure when it comes to relationships and i have actually given up on that one, i just have myself a guy on call if nature calls. But there is this feeling that i can not shut down I WANT A BABY. I love children so much and i am actually taking care of my three nephews financially. I dont care much about being married i just want a baby. lately i find it hard to watch pregnant woman or woman with small babies i cant help but feel jelous, is this feeling normal. I am even thinking maybe i should adopt what is the process for adoption and am i allowed to adopt as a single person?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I respect anyone's wish to have a baby, and in what you say, I am more re-assured when you say you love CHILDREN, because some women, in my clinical experience, adore the idea of a baby ( tiny and totally dependent on you ) but NOt children, so keep having babies and lose interest in their kids as soon as they start to walk and become more independent.
Others can answer your questions about adoption procedires and other alternatives. Be sure that your wish is not merely to satisfy something you WANT, but also to be able through your love and efforts to raise a great child to have a great life - again, some people focus solely on what they want, and ignore whether they will be able to offer a child a happy and wholesome childhood. If you have re-assured yourself on those points, good luck to you !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2012/11/06

You need to know that there is a cooling off period of 60 days during which the birth mother can change her mind about the adoption. So you will always run the risk of heartache.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Andrea | 2012/11/06

Mail me at andrea765765 at gamil dot com

Reply to Andrea
Posted by: Andrea | 2012/11/06

Sorry meant gmail

Reply to Andrea
Posted by: Dee | 2012/11/06

Wow thank you guys for all the information given.

Cyber Shrink thank you i have fallen in love with having a baby to give them love, care and a secure home. i want to give someone good opportunities

Lover Im not sure i can give out my e-mail address on this forum

Nini I have thought about the sperm donor route but I need more information regarding that

Maria and Liza thank you so much for your input i did not know all of the above. And yes i do volunteer at a centre for abused children. The foster parent sounds hectic cause i have issues i tend to get too close and too attached that it will break my heart to let go.

Reply to Dee
Posted by: Liza | 2012/11/05

These days a single person can adopt, but it''s rather difficult to adopt a baby however. Certain legal criteria need to be met before a child can be put up for adoption. Usually the foster-parent (who looks after the child before they''re eligible for adoption) has first choice to adopt when children under their care become eligible for adoption. So sometimes it''s easier to adopt if you''re already a foster-parent.

Sometimes it also takes so long from the time the baby is born, until the time all the legalities have been taken care of and the child is eligible for adoption, that the baby becomes a toddler before they can be adopted!

There is also sometimes the problem that foster-parents become attached to the children under their care and then the biological parents/family refuse to consent to adoption and try and get custody of their children back again - causing heartache for the foster parent who might have wanted to adopt the child.

You''ll need to weigh up all the pro''s and con''s of going the adoption route vs going the sperm donor route. Having a sperm donor is definitely easier, but going the adoption route means there will be one less neglected/abused child in our country.

Good Luck,

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Maria | 2012/11/05

You will need to register with an adoption agency. Try Johannesburg Child Welfare, ABBA Adoptions etc. Google " Adoption Agencies" . Please don''t try to find a birth mother yourself and do the adoption privately. Working through a registered social worker protects you, the birth mother and the child.

While you are going through the screening process and waiting for a baby, can I suggest that you volunteer at a local children''s home or shelter?

Good luck!

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Nini | 2012/11/05

Adoption is always a good choice.

Also, have you considered IUI with a sperm donor?

Reply to Nini
Posted by: Lover | 2012/11/05

whats ur private e-mail address?

Reply to Lover

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