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Question
Posted by: Payback | 2004/01/09

Want to get even

Hi doc

My Hubby is cheating on me.. I was raised by a single parent but was raised by relatives 'cause my mother died while I was 16, he was also raised by relatives 'cause his mother got married to his stepfather and had children there. I background is more or less the same so we promised each other no matter what we shouldn't separate because we don't want our children to go through what we went through. But the man is cheating on me, according to his mother he'll never change because it's the same reason he left his father! As if that's make me feel better!

I must admit he's a damn good father to our 3boys. But I resent him for cheating on me, his cellphone is like switchboard. I'm sure he's cheating because I once found a G-string (dirty) under the bed one day. His married friends are always with s**ts everytime I see them. "Birds of a feather flock 2gether" this is his motto. Friday nights he doesn't sleep at home because "he was too drunk to drive".

So I've decided to get even, I want to cheat on him too! I've found a very nice guy at work who's married but has problems with his wife. His wife emotionally abuses him and she sometimes beats him he comes at work with bruses. This will only help me to ignore or forgive my cheating Hubby because I'll have a shoulder to cry on. What do you think doc?

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Our expert says:
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Dear Payback,
I can understadn how awfully annoying tis must be for you, and it sounds as if he's behaving very shabilly. But how would cheating on him, and cheating on the wife of your friend at work, help ? this is a bit like saying : "My husband has developed TB --- I've decided to get my own back on him, and to go out and catch TB too !"
I truly think you should be wrestling your husband towards marriage counselling, and suggesting that your work friend get his wife involved in marriage counselling, too. That way there's at least a reasonable chance of finding a happy ending rather than more misery all round.

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Our users say:
Posted by: emotional | 2004/01/11

have you actually met the guy at works wife how do you know it's all her problem why do u want to stuff up someone elses marriage just because yours is not working out can't you at least find an unmarried guy to cheat with if you must!

Reply to emotional
Posted by: Dont shoot yourself in the foot | 2004/01/10

As a person who has been cheated on too I know how absolutely crap he is making you feel. Don't get negative about men, I am a man and my woman did it to me.

The first thing I did though was to get a HIV test so that I could know my status.

Then examine your motives for staying together. As children from broken homes you might want to spare your children a similar fate. I and my soon to be ex had such noble intentions too. But what fate do you want to give your children by staying with a guy whose attitude towards marriage you can clearly see. If he doesn't stop his behaviour and you accept it or do the same, then your children will think its ok too.

Be happy that you can determine the fate of your children unlike me who in the system as it is today, will not have the privalege to be the main guardian of my son.

Reply to Dont shoot yourself in the foot
Posted by: QWE | 2004/01/09

Its going to be difficult taking advice from anybody due to the state that you are in, but if you want to get back at him, sleeping with another man you dont love is not the way to go. Rather find yourself a good man and settle down. That will show him.

Reply to QWE
Posted by: Juz4Fun | 2004/01/09

Sorry to be blunt but - it is not monkey see monkey do!!

By doing that U are just stooping to his level.
Will Cheating make U happy or just give u temporary satisfaction?

Do what will make U happy so that u can still look at yourself in the mirror..

Reply to Juz4Fun
Posted by: Tim | 2004/01/09

Are u happy now that you also cheating on your husband? I peronally do not feel that you are doing the right thing. Leave him, divorce him and go on with your life.

Reply to Tim

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