Posted by: Concerned | 2004/01/14

Want to change Gynaecologists...

Please help. I have seen the same gynae, whom I found after contacting the hospital where I want to have my baby, for my last 2 appointments. I am a bit concerned because my fiance does not like him and he also annoys me. He keeps on referring to the fact that we are not married, and he does not include my fiance in most of his interactions and conversations. In fact, he gave me a long talk on how so many single women are keeping their babies these days (as if we were ever considering terminating the pregnancy!) and then he also asked me how I introduce my fiance to other people - he wanted to know if I introduce him as "that guy I live with". Surely this is not the issue here - and he is making us uncomfortable. We are not married because it was not a priority to us - and then I fell pregnant completely by surprise, and marriage is still not an issue to us - although it seems to be to others! Is it awfully rude to change gynaecologists even though I am already 17 weeks pregnant? I just cannot imagine having to deal with him in a delivery room! And I do not appreciate my fiance being excluded from this - he very much wants to be a part of everything. What do you suggest?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGynaeDoc

If this doctor makes you uncomfortable, you are at liberty to change and see someone else. As a courtesy, you could either tell him that you will be going elsewhere, or ask your new doctor to phone and ask for your records.

Best wishes

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kate | 2004/01/15


Thanks so much, I'd really appreciate it (and good luck to you!)

Reply to Kate
Posted by: sam | 2004/01/15

You ask if its "awfully rude" to change gynae's at 17 weeks. I think your gynae is awfully rude - why are you worried about his feeling?

I'd find another gynae right now - you don't need to deal with his prejudice!

Maybe give his name on the forum so other "single moms" can avoid him....

Good Luck!

Reply to sam
Posted by: ann | 2004/01/15

I changed gynaes at 20 weeks so don't feel bad about it. At my last appointment I told my old gynae that I wanted to change and he wasn't rude about it at all. I'm sure it happens to them all the time. I requested copies of blood results, scan results to take with to my new gynae and he was fine with handing it over

Good luck, I'm sure you will find a gynae you are comfortable with.

Reply to ann
Posted by: www | 2004/01/15

17 weeks is still plenty time to get to know a new gynae that is you and your fiance both feel comfortable with. Whether you are married or not should be of no consequence to the doctor or anyone else. You love each other and you are having a baby together and you are not a "single mom" as he refered to you. I don't know if it's considered "rude" to change gynaecologists, but really, it shouldn't matter. The obstatrician that delivers your baby, can either make the experience a wonderful one, or leave a black blot on your memory of this miracle day. Unfortunately I've had one of each, but now I know how worth it it is to change now. I've even heard of people who've changed doctors at 30 weeks so they'd feel happy about the birth.

Reply to www
Posted by: Belle | 2004/01/15

I must agree. Find another gynae as soon as you can. Giving birth is a beautiful but very personal experience, so you dont want someone there who is going to make it unpleasant for you.

Reply to Belle
Posted by: Lala | 2004/01/14

My advice to you is to change him.A gynae should do his/her job without analysing your loving status.The other thing is your partner should be involved in everything that is happening to his child as well.If you are not comfortable it's still time for you to change and get someone who will do his job and leave your marriage status aside.

Reply to Lala

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