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Question
Posted by: Advise | 2006/11/02

Want to break up with him and pregnant!

Hi,

I have decided to break up with my current boyfriend because he always seems to have time for everyone but me. I have already made up my mind to leave him, the only problem is that I also just found out that I am 6 weeks pregnant. I am not going to have this baby. I know he wanted a baby so much even though this one was not planned. Should I tell him that I am pregnant and that I am not going to have the baby. I am so confused. Help!

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Our expert says:
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Have you discused this concern with him Not argued about it when you or both of you were cross, but calml;y discussed it during a time when you can both be reasonable ? If you are pregnant, presumably you were not taking precautions against pregnancy, and presumabnly wanted the baby at the time. Maybe the hormone changes of pregnancy have been making you more irritable than usual, leading to too hasty a decision. Do NOT abort this innocent child just because you are cross with your boyfriend --- that'd be a terrible thing to do out of spite. DO see a counsellor asap to tal;k through your realistic options

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon-c | 2006/11/02

Hi Advise
I was in the same position as you - ready to break up with my partner when I found out I was pregnant! Abortion was the last thought in my mind because had I gone that route, I would not have been able to live with myself! I stayed and yes, things did not get any better, they are at a stage now where I need to get out, but I have a lovely little son that I would not trade for all the money in the world! Please think about it carefully! And if you do go ahead with the abortion, could you live with yourself after that? Lots of people do it and then regret it later - then it is too late - then they start suffering from guilt, which turns into depression and become suicidal! Don't become one of those people! I know it is hard financially but you kow what, things will come right!

Reply to anon-c
Posted by: Echelle | 2006/11/02

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S MURDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I felt the same way not wanting the child when I found out I was pregnant, but never thought of an abortion! The first time you feel the baby inside you and when he/she is born, it feels so great!! Don't do it, you will regret it for the rest of your life!

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/02

ok if you are going to terminate then do it without telling him, coz he can try pull out all the stops to stop you even treaten legal shit. if he finds out you just tell him that you misscarried. i realy do feel for you i would hate to be in your possition. then go on the pill you realy dont need this again. i know things can happen but at least try. please remember if you are going through with this go for counseling befor and after, it does take its toll on you.

Reply to kat
Posted by: Advise | 2006/11/02

I have one child already and I have had to raise her alone, when I have my next one, I would love that child to have both parents, it's quiet emontionally and financially stressful raising a child by one'self.

I know that he would want to raise this child but I also do not want to find myself in a situation were i have to support this child by maintenance. It will then mean that I will always be in this guy's life!

Reply to Advise
Posted by: Dee | 2006/11/02

Honestly i wouldnt it would just complicate things if you are going to leave then leave quietly and dont look back, I have being in this situation only difference is i got talked out of the termination and still with him because its either guilt of having a child growing up without her daddy or stupidity. It certainly doesnt get easier in your relationship if you do stay and have the baby. If i could do it over again i would just leave and carry on with your life. Good luck its a hard decision to make but i am sure you will make the right one.

Reply to Dee
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/02

ok befor i say anything please be warned you are going to have a lot of good and bad comments to this post.

anyway why dont you want to have the baby. and why not have the baby and let him keep it if he wants to and be a single father to it. if you can abort it you can adopt it expecially to a father who wants it.

Reply to kat

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