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Question
Posted by: DEPENDANT JANE | 2007/04/05

WANT TO BE HAPPY ON MY OWN

I'M SO EMOTIONALY DEPENDANT THAT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF REJECTION FROM MY HUSBAND LEAVES ME FEELING UNLOVED AND DEPRESSED. I EVEN EXPECT HIM TO CHOOSE ME OVER WATCHING SPORT. WHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE HOW I FEEL ? I KNOW HE FEELS LIKE I EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM HIM EMOTIONALLY AND I AGREE, BUT I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. TO BE HONEST AFTER A DAY AT WORK , I'M HAPPY THAT I HAVE HIM TO GO HOME TO. MY MEANS OF DESTRESSING IS JUST SPENIDNG TIME WITH HIM. HIS MEANS OF DESTRESSING IS WATCHING SPORT,OR ANY OF HIS FAVOURITE MOVIES.
AM I REALLY DEMANDING TOO MUCH, OR IS HE JUST TAKING ME FOR GRANTED. WHAT CAN I DO TO KEEP MYSELF HAPPY WITHOUT DEMANDING ATTENTION FROM HIM.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

See a personal counsellor, preferably of the CBT form, to work on this neediness, dependency and lack of self-esteem. And why can[ he watch sport WITH YOU, rather than having to choose between them ? In regard to watching sport, can't you choose him ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: DEPENDANT JANE | 2007/04/13

TKS GUYS. I THINK THE ADVISE HAS REALLY HELPED ME THINK. I FEEL MYSELF READY TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. I FEEL ALOT MORE WILLING TO ALLOW HIM HIS PLEASURES IN SPORT N WILL OF COURSE APPRECIATE HES WID ME. I THINK READINGA BOOK IS THE BEST BET FOR ME.

Reply to DEPENDANT JANE
Posted by: jen | 2007/04/07

I know exactly how you feel, as I've been going through the exact same stuff -- i have a great partner who has talked me through a lof of stuff, and most importatnly LISTENS to my fears, but it's tough because he's not supposed to be my shrink and there's only so much I can lay on him. I have been blessed, but not everyone is so understanding. So I can imagine how your boyfriend feels, and how you feel so low because you are so dependant on his support and attention. You know what it is? It's a TRUST issue. I know, because it is so with me. I don't trust people easily, most of all those that come closest to my heart, because I can get hurt so much easier. Think about it and talk about it to a counsellor. It will help get to those deeper issues that are hidden from view at this point. Good luck, yours in trust :)

Reply to jen
Posted by: Britty | 2007/04/05

You may not like him watching sport or movies but at least you know he is at home with you and not out somewhere without you and who knows what mischief. You are so lucky Jane - you may not like the sport or movie so curl up with him and your favourite magazine/book etc and just enjoy being with him.

Reply to Britty
Posted by: DEPENDANT JANE | 2007/04/05

I'm so upset that he finds so much joy in watching sport that I just refuse to wach any form of sport even if I enjoy that particular sport. To be quite honest, I know I need counselling, but its a weird feeling that I'd have to go.

Reply to DEPENDANT JANE

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