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Question
Posted by: Pete | 2006/10/29

Want advice

I hope i am at the right sight.
I have a problem with myself.Sometimes I dont like myself, as how I react to people.Sometimes when conversation with colleges I feel empty,like I am not at the same level as they are.What I would like to know is how can I improve myself with skills like saying the rigt thing on the right time,asking the right questions.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageExecutive coach

Hi Pete

I strongly recommend dealing with this issue with a qualified therapist. We all have disowned parts to ourselves that we dislike or are disconnected from. This internal disconnection is at the source of most of our suffering. It is something that can be healed. It is not something that you can do alone, though. At least not in the beginning.

All the best!!

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2006/12/15

Ok here goes Pete, I am not the coach, as he has not replied to your post.....I am going to.

From the sounds of what you have said you lack confidence and self esteem. You need to find ways to build up that self esteem and confidence. Usually what gives us confidence is succeeding at short term goals, medium and long term goals we set for ourselves. In fact achieving at anything can build confidence and self esteem. Your *inner talk* that goes on in your head might be negative, it might stem from childhood or traumatic stressful situations you have been through. Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative, try and change it into a positive. A good book to read is called "Creative Visualisations" by Shakti Gawain, in her book she has exercises you can do. You can also go for counselling, CBT style counselling which will help you. You do not feel at the same level as colleagues because you do not believe in yourself. You need to start off by loving who you are. If you are anxious or suffer from a social anxiety phobia CBT can also help.

Just take some deep breaths and be yourself. Do not over analyse everything or criticise yourself for what you say to others.

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